


Make it Count

by winterzayn



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: AU: Titanic, Character Death, First Kiss, First Time, M/M, Minor Character Death, OT5 Friendship, RMS Titanic, Sad with a Happy Ending, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-11
Updated: 2016-08-11
Packaged: 2018-08-08 01:37:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 24,777
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7738267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winterzayn/pseuds/winterzayn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>Zayn felt his heart thudding uncomfortably loud as Liam’s words sunk in. Until I met you. He was frantically trying to think of a way to tell Liam that he felt the same way when Liam continued, “When the ship docks, I’m getting off with you, Zayn.”</i>
</p><p>“Liam,” Zayn said, taking the other boys face in both his own hands, “That’s insane.” He whispered and Liam pressed his lips to Zayn’s in response.</p><p> “I know, it doesn’t make any sense,” Liam said as they broke apart. “But it feels right… we-us together… I feel safe with you. This feels right.”</p><p> <br/>Or loosely based on the 1997 movie <i>Titanic</i>: In April of 1912, Liam Payne is a wealthy first class passenger aboard the ill-fated ship, RMS Titanic. He is engaged to a girl he's known since birth and is sailing from England to America to marry her against his will. After meeting third class passenger, artist Zayn Malik, he realizes that his life doesn't have to follow the path that he always thought it would. Fate brought them together but will it also tear them apart?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ship of Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> (This note is LONG and all over the place I'm sorry!)
> 
> Here it is, my first ever long fic! This is a tribute to my favorite movie of all time and it was a lot of fun to write. I've wanted a Ziam Titanic AU for a very long time, so I decided to write one and to be quite honest it was mainly just for me but I hope other people can enjoy it as well. 
> 
> I'm aware that the idea is cliched and over-the-top dramatic: I hope it is because that's kinda the point. Hopefully, it will still make sense and will be enjoyable even if you haven't seen the movie (but you should really see the movie...)
> 
> I know I always say this in my notes but I'm very unsure of myself when it comes to writing and I let my insecurities get in the way of me being confident in my work. I get a mental block sometimes because I'm a perfectionist and I always compare my writing to other amazing writers in this fandom and my work never turns out how I want it to be. But with this, I tried really hard to write for me and not for anyone else. I'm not trying to compete with anyone because in my head I always know I'll never measure up the writers I look up to and I'm slowly realizing that that's okay and everyone has their own style. I wish my style was more polished and stuff but it is what it is sometimes.
> 
> It's a bit rushed so if you like slow burns then you won't like this. I'm an impatient person and it comes across in my writing. I'm kind of a lazy writer and I just like to get to the point y'know? I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing but I just wanted to put this here so when you're reading you're not like, "Wow, does she realize she could have added more here?" and ect.
> 
> Part 1 and about half of Part 2 have been beta'd. Any mistakes are my own.
> 
> This fic would not have been possible without the help, support and encouragement from my lovely beta, Josipa. You were the obvious choice to go to when I decided to actually write this thing because of that conversation about Titanic ages ago. And you brought up the "draw me like one of your French girls" scene and I knew right then that I wanted to make this a reality. That scene is for you btw. I'm sorry I'm whiny, I don't know how to use commas properly or what a run-on sentence is. I appreciate you taking the time to beta what you could, I know it was asking a lot from you.
> 
> I will address the Minor Character Death tag in the notes of Part 2 because it doesn't apply to this first part.
> 
> There are two main parts because (out of pure self-indulgent nostalgia) when I used to watch Titanic on VHS, there were two tapes and I tried to split it roughly the same way (but I failed)
> 
> The dates and timestamps are important and it will (hopefully) make sense why I included them as you read. The POV switches between Liam and Zayn for each timestamp.
> 
> In the movie, Rose is supposedly 17 (she acts a lot older than 17 lol) and I don't know how old Jack is supposed to be, maybe 17 or 18? So since Liam is based on Rose and Zayn based on Jack, they're somewhere in their late teens.
> 
> There are some direct quotes from the movie (mainly just my favorite ones) because I couldn't resist including them but I tried to keep them to a minimum. 
> 
> A lot of research (read: re-watching Titanic an insane amount of times and memorizing the wikipedia page on the sinking of Titanic) went into writing this and I tried to keep the historical integrity intact to a certain extent but some facts and details are purposefully inaccurate for the sake of the plot. Fun fact: I researched it and "baby/babe" has apparently been used as a term of endearment since the 16th century which made me very excited!
> 
> I tried my best to make the dialogue and descriptions as British and 1912-ish as I could. (Y'know to the best of my knowledge since I wasn't actually around in 1912 and I don't think any of you were either.)
> 
> In case you've never seen the movie[ this](http://www.mtfca.com/encyclo/pix/12town.jpg) is basically what the car looks like (this will make sense later don't worry)
> 
> Disclaimer: All due respect for the real victims, survivors and their families of the RMS Titanic tragedy of 1912. This is a work of fiction. I don't one One Direction/Zayn or the movie Titanic.

**PART 1: Ship of Dreams**

_“Titanic was called the ship of dreams. And it was, it really was.”_

– Titanic, James Cameron (1997)

 

 

**_April 11, 1912 -- 9:00 PM_ **

 

The night air was shockingly cold and sharply scented with the sea air, and Liam Payne was sprinting down the length of the deck of the RMS Titanic. He had no real destination in mind; he was aiming only to get as far away from his mother and his fiancée Sophia as he could. The soles of his shoes slapped on the wet wood, his chest was starting to feel tight from running but the freezing air felt pleasant on his flushed face. He could see the stern of the ship, stars glittering in the velvet black sky overhead. He reached the rail and leaned far over, gazing down at the inky water that seemed like it was miles away from where he stood.

He could do it; he could throw himself off the ship and end this. He wouldn't have to go back to America, he wouldn't have to marry Sophia, and he doubted anyone would miss him if he were gone. Sophia only cared about him for his surname and the fortune that was sure to come with the title of being Mrs. Liam Payne. His mother was only concerned that he carry on his father's family name by marrying and giving her grandchildren. There wasn't a single person that actually loved him, that cared about what he wanted, no one that he felt even remotely close to. He could be in a room full of people and still feel like he was all alone.

Liam climbed onto the first rung of the railing and then the second, and swung his leg over, gingerly balancing his feet on the thin rail. He felt hot tears streaming down his face, could see clouds of vapor in front of him from gasping, trying to catch his breath. Clutching the iron railing was like holding an ice cube in his hand, so bitterly cold that his hands felt numb. Waves lapped the hull of the ship at least 100 feet below him. His whole body was starting to feel numb-- all he had to do was let go of the railing and he'd be falling down and down...

"Don't do it," came a male voice from behind him. Liam had actually succeeded in climbing over the rail and was slowly turning himself around to face the churning water below. Startled, he looked behind him to see a boy around his own age standing about 10 feet from him on the deck. He was shabbily dressed, definitely not first class, wearing an over-sized dark colored jacket over a collared shirt and baggy slacks.

"Don’t come any closer!” Liam called out. “And I don't think that's any of your business if I do." He was trying not to let the stranger know that he was choking back tears. Liam turned back and looked down at the water. He was nauseatingly high up and his heart was thudding uncomfortably in his chest-- _come on just do it, what are you waiting for, end it..._

"I beg your pardon, it's just that if you do, I'll have to jump in after you." The boy said. "And that water is going to be awfully cold so I'm really not looking forward to it." He had a very distinct, and not unpleasant to listen to, Northern accent.

Liam turned back around to stare in shock at the boy. "You don't know me so don’t presume to tell me what I will and won’t do."

"I saw you running towards the back of the ship, looking upset and I followed you to make sure you weren't going to cause any harm to yourself. I'm personally involved now. You jump, I jump." The boy sounded haughty but Liam didn't face him again to see his expression.

"Why? You don't even know me, why would you follow a total stranger? And just what makes you think that I would care if you tried to stop me? Leave me alone!" Whoever this boy was, he needed to just leave so Liam could get this over with.

"I can't, I told you I'm involved, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't at least try to stop someone from jumping to their death, even if I don't know that person. I do have a conscience, you know,” replied the boy.

Liam scoffed at his words, disbelieving that a total stranger would be concerned for his well being when his own family wouldn't.

"Plus, it's in my own interest to try and stop you because like I said, I really don't fancy jumping in after you. Have you ever jumped into water that cold before?" Liam was becoming increasingly more irritated by this boy who was clearly just trying to distract him.

"No," Liam allowed. The water, reflecting the black night sky, swirled ominously below him.

"Well I have and let me tell you, water that cold? It feels like being stabbed, you can't breathe, you can't think. Trust me, drowning in water that cold would likely the most painful way to go that I can think of," the boy said, solemnly.

The longer that Liam stalled his jump, the thought of actually doing it was becomingly overwhelmingly scary and coupled with what this boy had just said, was starting to make Liam question what he was doing standing on this railing.

Slowly and carefully, Liam turned himself around once more to see that the boy had removed his shoes and his jacket and was rolling up the sleeves of his button-down shirt. The boy had a cigarette balanced between his lips, a single strand of silky raven hair was falling across his face. His olive skin was the color of coffee with the just the right amount of milk in it and his jaw was sharp with just a hint of black stubble. And the boy’s eyes… Liam couldn’t make out what color they were from where he stood but they were large and intense, framed by thick, long lashes.

He was the most startlingly beautiful person Liam had ever seen.

The handsome boy took several steps closer to Liam and reached out his arm. His smile was more of a smirk, his face seemed almost familiar and for some reason Liam found himself feeling safer in the boy's presence.

"Stay back," Liam warned, unwilling to let the boy know he was considering accepting his help.

"Just take my hand. Climb back over, you don't want to do this. Please," the boy pleaded. "Let me help you."

Liam felt like a cornered animal. It had been a long time since Liam could remember someone sincerely wanting to help him, and yet here was this complete stranger, willing to help, acting like he truly cared. It almost made Liam want to start crying again and he felt relieved, confused but relieved. There was something about this boy that made Liam want to trust him.

"Ok," Liam muttered, turning himself around and shifting his weight so he was clutching the railing with only arm. He stretched out his right arm towards the boy. The boy closed the distance from him in a few strides and fitted his surprisingly warm hand with Liam's.

"Right... er, what's your name?" the boy asked.

"Liam. Liam Payne." Liam answered.

"Nice to meet you Liam Payne. I'm Zayn Malik," the boy replied. "Right, Liam, just hold my hand and climb back over the railing, can you do that?" Zayn asked, holding his cigarette between his teeth.

Liam nodded and bracing himself on the railing, he pulled himself up so he could swing his left leg over the rail. He leaned heavily on Zayn, counting on him to keep him from losing his balance, and he managed to get his right leg over as well. Zayn held onto him the entire time as he got both feet back on the deck and found himself face to face with Zayn.

They stood for a beat longer, and Liam felt his cheeks burn as Zayn's eyes took in his face. They both seemed to realize at the same time that they were still holding hands. Liam glanced down at their hands and Zayn grinned, his tongue pressed behind his teeth and he let go of Liam's hand.

"Er... thank you." Liam said finally. Zayn took a drag on his cigarette, the tip glowing amber against the black sky. He turned away from Liam to blow out his mouthful of smoke.

"So are you going to tell me what happened to upset you so much that you thought you had no other way out?" Zayn asked him. Liam looked down at the wet deck and shook his head. He hoped that Zayn would walk away if he kept staring at the ground long enough. He felt emotionally drained and unable to even think about discussing his feelings.

"Is this young man bothering you, sir?" A man called as pair of crewmen jogged towards them.

"No, no, it's fine." Liam assured them, seeing the angry flush rise in Zayn's cheeks.

"Well, in any case what's a respectable young man like yourself doing in this part of the ship? You must be aware that this is the third class deck." The crewmen's gaze shifted to Zayn with distaste.

"Yes I am. I was, er, I climbed onto the rail to see the water and I... slipped and this gentleman was kind enough to help me regain my footing is all," Liam explained, noticing the look on the crewman's face when he called Zayn a "gentleman." The other crewman was eyeing Zayn's sock-clad feet and discarded jacket but thankfully he didn't question it.

"Be sure to alert us if you require further assistance and goodnight to you." They both turned and walked away, leaving Liam alone with Zayn once again. Zayn slid his boots back on and retrieved his jacket.

"I'm really glad you didn't jump, Liam," Zayn said, looking up at him from under those thick lashes. "Partly because I actually can't swim and if I had had to jump in after you, we probably both would have drowned. Also because you seem like a good person and it would have been a shame if you had."

"Thanks... I guess," Liam replied. His brain felt like it was underwater and his heart wouldn't stop pounding uncomfortably fast in his chest. "I should be getting back to my cabin," Liam apologized. Zayn nodded and said, "I understand. I should probably go too."

"Perhaps you would be able to have some discretion to keep this just between us, Mr. Malik? I don't want anyone else to find out what happened," said Liam hesitantly.

"Sure thing, your secret's safe with me." Zayn nodded again, "I hope I'll see you around, Mr. Payne." He turned and threw his cigarette off the side of the ship and gave Liam a wave as he walked away, leaving Liam to wonder about the strange boy who couldn't swim and had been willing to risk his own life to save Liam's.

 

 

**_April 12, 1912 -- 10:00 AM_ **

 

Zayn was sitting as close as he was allowed to the latched gate that separated the first class quarters from the third class promenade, on a unbelievably uncomfortable bench. He'd been sitting here all morning, hoping to see Liam after the first class passenger's breakfast had finished.

His friend Louis and Louis' new Irish friend Niall were sitting at a table opposite him, already drinking glasses of warm beer and playing a card game. Zayn's right leg was bent, his foot resting on his left knee, his sketchbook balanced on his lap. He'd been trying to focus on drawing the mother with her two children who were sitting on the first class deck above him. All he'd been able to come up with was a few jagged outlines, the charcoal smudged across the entire page and coating the side of his hand.

More and more first class passengers were now spilling onto the deck overhead meaning breakfast had now finished. Zayn scanned the crowd for Liam and was able to pick out the boy's scowling face. He was walking beside a very pretty girl with sleek brown hair who was talking animatedly to him. Liam was staring in his direction, but Zayn wasn't sure he was really looking at him until Liam's face changed, his eyebrows raised and his eyes widened. He looked away and said something to the girl, pointing down at the third class deck. The girl frowned but kissed his cheek and walked away.

Zayn watched in disbelief as Liam made his way down the stairs and opened the gate at the bottom of them, letting himself into the third class section. He walked over to Zayn with a shy smile on his face. He was wearing a crisp white collared shirt, paired with a grey suit vest and matching grey slacks. Liam sat on the bench next to Zayn, offering him his hand which Zayn shook.

"Good morning, Mr. Malik," he greeted in his cute Birmingham accent, sounding more cheerful than he had last night, though it seemed oddly forced.

"Hello, Liam," Zayn said, forgoing calling Liam by his surname. “It’s nice to see you again.” Louis whipped his head around at the mention of Liam's name. Zayn had told Louis about meeting Liam last night but he'd stayed true to his word. He had kept Liam's secret. Louis nudged Niall and whispered to him and they both looked back at Zayn, grinning.

"Would you like to go for a walk with me? I’d like to talk with you. In private," Liam asked, clearly eager to be away from curious eyes and ears that had already taken notice of Liam's entrance onto the lower deck. Zayn had no doubt that Liam's obviously high class appearance would continue to draw attention wherever they went but he agreed anyway. Zayn stood, closing his sketchbook and tucking it under his arm.

“I never got a chance to properly thank you for last night,” Liam said once they were walking along a section of the third class promenade that was less crowded.

“You don’t have to thank me,” Zayn objected. He hated the feeling that Liam thought he owed Zayn for saving his life or something; it made him feel strangely guilty.

“Yes, I do. If you hadn’t of been there, who knows what would have happened.” Liam refused to meet his eyes, choosing to look out over the water, squinting in the bright sunlight.

“Well, if it makes you feel better then, you’re welcome. But I don’t make a habit of rescuing strangers and I don’t want anything from you, if that’s what you’re thinking,” Zayn said defensively.

“No, no, it’s just I’d like to repay you somehow, is all…” Liam started but Zayn stopped him.

“I don’t want you to, Liam. I just want to get to know you, if that’s okay.” Liam nodded in agreement.

They walked in silence for a bit until Zayn decided to break the tension by asking, “So what brings you aboard the RMS Titanic, young Liam?” and was relieved when Liam chuckled.

He explained that he was returning to America because his mother wanted his wedding to his fiancée, Sophia to be in the United States. He told Zayn that he would much rather stay in Wolverhampton but his mother and her parent's has insisted they marry as soon as possible now that they were both of age. Liam seemed reluctant to explain _why_ they had to get married so soon, so Zayn didn’t ask.

Zayn told Liam about how his friend Louis had been lucky enough to win their tickets aboard the Titanic in a poker game. Zayn had no real reason to go to America but Louis had insisted that it would be an adventure and he couldn't say no to Louis. He was hoping that maybe he would be able to be more successful in America, which was the land of opportunity after all.

They had circled the deck several times before Liam looked at his watch and explained that he needed to be back for lunch or his mother would be worried. It was so easy talking to Liam that Zayn had noticed until now that nearly two hours had passed.

"I'm sorry, I'd really like to stay and talk some more." Liam sounded sincere, his warm brown eyes apologetic.

"That's alright," Zayn replied. "Perhaps we'll be able to talk again soon."

"I'd really like that." Liam smiled, blush creeping up his rounded cheeks.

"I'll walk you back to the stairs," Zayn offered. They walked together to the gate and said goodbye again as Liam climbed the steps and disappeared into the crowd of people.

Zayn went back to sit with Louis and Niall, taking a sip of beer from Louis' glass which was now lukewarm from sitting in the sunlight.

"Have a nice little walk with your boyfriend?" Louis teased causing Niall to dissolve into laughter.

"He's not my boyfriend, Lou. And he's engaged. To a woman," Zayn answered.

"Well don't sound too upset about that Zayn, jealousy doesn’t suit you," Louis said. "I'm all in," he said to Niall, placing his fan of cards face down on the table.

"What are you playing for, neither of you have got any money," laughed Zayn.

"Shut it, Z. You in or you out, Horan?" Louis raised his brow, smirking at Niall.

"I'm out," said Niall, his face falling as he put down his own cards. Louis revealed that he was indeed bluffing with a malicious laugh as Niall groaned, "Tomlinson, you complete _arsehole_." Louis beamed and leaned forward over the table to collect what appeared to be the contents of Niall's pockets.

Zayn took his pack of cigarettes and matchbook from the inside pocket of his coat and lit up. Despite the two boys arguing beside him, Zayn found being on the deck of the ship rather relaxing. He leaned back in his chair and shut his eyes, enjoying the sunlight warming his face and the sound of the gentle crashing waves.

His thoughts kept drifting back to Liam, and how luck had been on both their sides last night that Zayn had happened to be wandering the deck at the exact time that Liam had been trying to kill himself. He wasn’t sure if he believed in fate but he suspected that their meeting had been more than a coincidence.

He’d never met anyone like Liam before, someone so instantly trusting and fragile. Someone that he had felt an instant connection with; that was a whole new concept for Zayn. Everything about Liam reminded Zayn of something or someone- he just couldn’t put his finger on what.

Zayn had stopped paying attention to Louis and Niall’s bickering but he tuned back into their conversation when an unfamiliar third voice joined in.

“And this is Louis’ mate, Zayn. Zayn, this is Harry.” Niall was saying. A boy with thick, dark curls, green eyes and a cheeky smile was sitting next to Niall, hand outstretched towards Zayn. Zayn shook Harry’s hand and introduced himself. Apparently Harry and his family were sharing a cabin with Niall’s family.

Harry recounted to other three a very long story about almost not being able to get tickets for the Titanic because the money that his father had sent from America had gotten lost in the mail. Harry had a slow, deep voice and a unique and slightly frustrating way of making stories drag on for much longer than necessary in Zayn’s opinion.

Louis and Harry were arguing about the logistics of bartering in a marketplace as Zayn stubbed out his cigarette. Niall challenged him to game of poker even though Zayn insisted he couldn’t play for shit. But the more he got to know the Irish boy, the more Zayn liked being around his easy smile and genuine appreciation for life. Niall ended up beating him without even trying and Zayn wasn’t even angry to be handing over two cigarettes and some change.

“Like I said to Niall though,” Harry was saying, “The key is not to tell ‘em how much money you’ve got and just keep saying so and so’s got it for cheaper. And then you’ve got them right in your pocket.”

“I like him,” Louis said to Niall, pointing to Harry.

“I knew you would, Tommo!” Niall grinned.

The bell signaling lunch rang as Louis was telling Harry about the party that his and Zayn’s bunkmate had told them about.

And suddenly Zayn had a brilliant idea.

 

**_April 12, 1912 –- 8:00 PM_ **

 

Liam still had no idea how Zayn had managed to get the note to him.

He’d been sitting in the lounge, only half listening to the conversation that Sophia and his mother were having, when a steward had approached their table.

“Mr. Liam Payne?” He’d asked and then he’d handed Liam a folded note and left. Liam opened the paper and read:

_Meet me on the third class promenade, 8 o’clock tonight - ZM_

And so now Liam was passing through the gate leading to the third class section and had set off in search of Zayn. Zayn was still such a mystery to him. From their conversation earlier on in the day, he’d learned so much about Zayn but he craved more. Zayn’s world was unfamiliar and frightening to him but there was something about it he was so attracted to.

Or was the attraction to Zayn himself? He wasn’t sure yet.

It didn't take long for him to find the other boy lounging on a bench, a book balanced on his lap. Zayn looked up with a smile when he saw Liam and gestured for Liam to sit beside him.

“You came!” Zayn smiled crookedly at him. Liam laughed and offered Zayn a cigarette which he accepted and Liam struck a match to light his own.

“How did you get the note to me, though?” He asked, exhaling smoke.

“Well, Niall, did you meet Niall yet? Don’t worry you will,” he said when Liam shook his head.

“Yeah, Niall’s mate Harry volunteered for it because Louis thought he would be the most charming.” Zayn answered and Liam’s eyes widened.

“So Harry stuck into first class,” Zayn continued with a mischievous glint to his eyes, “And gave the note to the first steward he saw and told him to get it to you. We sweetened the deal with a couple pounds. Louis owed me money from ages ago.” Liam was speechless.

"C’mon, let’s go a party!" Zayn told him suddenly.  

"What kind of party?" Liam asked, but Zayn was already taking his hand and standing up.

"The good kind of party!" Zayn answered, looking back at Liam over his shoulder as he led Liam by the hand towards a door marked “Third Class Entrance.”

After being dragged down several flights of stairs lined in stark white paneling, Liam could hear loud music, people laughing and cheering and glasses clinking. He and Zayn were suddenly in a cramped room full of people dancing and clouds of smoke. There was a group of people playing fiddles, bagpipes and drums, the music was different to the type of music he was used to but he found like he liked how it made him feel; warm and excited. Similar to how being with Zayn made him feel.

Zayn took two glasses of dark beer from a nearby table and handed one to Liam. Liam took an experimental sip, he had never had beer this dark before and he was pleased to discover that he didn't hate it. It was no champagne, but it was earthy and rich and warmed his entire body so he drank the entire glass.

He could feel the pounding rhythm of the drums like they were inside his body and his heart was racing. Combined with his hand in Zayn's, the beer and the crowd of loud strangers, he felt a sense of euphoria like he hadn't experienced since he was a child, riding a horse for the first time.

"C’mon! Dance with me, Liam!" Zayn shouted over the music.

"I don't know the steps!" Liam protested, but allowed himself to be tugged into the swarm of people dancing.

"Neither do I, just go with it!" Zayn snaked his arm around Liam's waist and Liam discovered that Zayn was right about making the steps up. He relaxed into Zayn's embrace and tried not to think too much about what his hips and feet were doing.

They spun in fast circles, jumping to the rhythm of the drums, hands linked together. Zayn let go of Liam and started to do a complicated looking sort of Irish jig, out of time with the music. Liam copied him and Zayn was beaming at him, laughing with his nose scrunched up, and whooping when Liam dared to do a spin, kicking his feet carelessly.

Zayn took both his hands again, crossing their linked hands over each other and started to tug on Liam until they were both leaning away from each other, anchored in the middle by their joined hands.

"Zayn, no!" Liam giggled as Zayn laughed louder and started to spin them in a fast circle. Liam couldn't help it and let out a scream that was louder and less manly than he wanted it to be. Zayn yelled, still laughing as they spun faster and faster, and all Liam could see was Zayn's face, the rest of the world was blur as he tried to keep from stumbling.

The song changed and Zayn stopped their spin but still held on to one of Liam's hands. A boy with bright blue eyes and light brown hair was calling to Zayn.

"Louis!" Zayn yelled. "This is Liam!"

"Liam!" Louis yelled, "This is Eleanor!" he nodded to the pretty girl whose head was wrapped in a burgundy scarf that he was dancing with. Eleanor's free hand was snatched up by a laughing blonde boy as a line of people all holding hands was sweeping a large circle across the dance floor. Louis grabbed Liam's free hand and Liam tugged Zayn along as the crowd moved in a circle, dancing to the pounding music.

When the song ended, the blonde boy who Zayn had introduced as Niall handed him another glass of beer which Liam downed gratefully. He was vaguely aware that he shouldn’t be getting drunk and should probably head back to his rooms before his mother or Sophia sent someone to go looking for him. And if they found out that he was at a party in steerage, he wouldn’t be allowed to roam the ship freely until they reached America.

Liam tried to tell this to Zayn but once he opened his mouth, he couldn’t remember what he had wanted to say and Zayn looked so happy and carefree. Zayn was now dancing next to Louis and Eleanor, a full glass of beer sloshing over his hand and splattering the floor. He raised the glass to drink and ended up dribbling some down his chin which Liam found endearing. He wasn’t sure if the alcohol or the atmosphere was to blame but he couldn’t take his eyes off of the beautiful boy in front of him. Liam really wanted to kiss Zayn. Which—no, he shouldn’t want to kiss him, _should he?_

Before he could think too much about it, Liam found himself calling to Zayn, who looked over at him, beaming in Liam’s direction. He reached out and put his hand on Zayn’s shoulder, his other hand behind the other boy’s head and he kissed Zayn. He heard Zayn’s gasp of surprise, the crash of the beer glass shattering on the floor and felt Zayn’s smile against his lips and Liam was unable to contain the laugh that escaped him. He reluctantly pulled away from the kiss to find Zayn laughing too, golden brown eyes burning bright like embers in the darkened room.

“I’m sorry-I-“ Liam began but Zayn didn’t allow him to finish.

“What’re you sorry for, love?” Zayn slurred, running the back of his hand over Liam’s cheek.

“I’m-you’re-we’re drunk-and I just-I don’t know why I-“ Words were pouring from Liam’s mouth faster than his brain could process them and he was cut off by Zayn pressing his lips to Liam’s own once more.

Zayn had wrapped his arm around Liam’s waist, pulling him in close. Liam felt Zayn’s tongue pressing into the seam of his lips and he parted them, allowing Zayn to lick into his mouth. The kiss was sloppy and both his and Zayn’s mouths tasted like beer but it was better than any kiss Liam had ever had. Liam felt like he was simultaneously on fire and freezing cold; the heat of Zayn’s mouth and then softness of his lips and tongue had Liam’s brain spinning.

When they broke apart, both trying to catch their breath, Zayn was grinning widely and Liam hugged him, spinning them to the music. They danced until the end of the song and then went to join Louis and Niall at a very crowded table where several passengers were playing poker. Louis offered him and Zayn cigarettes as well as shots of whiskey from a bottle that Niall was wielding.

At the table was another boy that Liam hadn’t met yet but he guessed he must be Niall’s friend Harry. Harry was just as charming as Zayn had mentioned he was and Liam could easily see him sneaking into first class without getting caught.

Harry was traveling with his mother and sister to meet his father in America, the same as Niall but Harry was from Cheshire and Niall from Mullingar, in Ireland. Louis, he learned, was traveling alone to America leaving his mother, five sisters and a brother in Doncaster in order to try to get a well-paying job and a better place to live so he could send for them eventually.

The five of them as well as Eleanor and a pretty blonde girl she introduced as Perrie, sat and talked while they all recovered from dancing. Zayn had Liam’s hand clutched in his own under the table and they were sitting so close to each other that their thighs were pressed together. Zayn kept rubbing circles on the inner part of Liam’s hand and shooting him smiles. Liam was finally breathing easier, when the other 5 members of their group got up to dance again and Zayn pulled him to his feet back to the dance floor.

The alcohol was pleasantly clouding Liam’s brain but he remembered with a jolt once they were dancing again that he needed to leave. He tried to push the thought to the back of his mind again but it persisted. He pictured his mother’s disapproving expression and Sophia’s stern stance, arms crossed and brow furrowed.

“I need to go,” Liam slurred in Zayn’s ear.

“What?” Zayn called and Liam repeated himself.

“Nooo, I don’t want you to go, Liam, stay and dance with me!” Zayn pouted, tightening his grip on Liam’s hips.

“I don’t want to go either, but I really have to. My mum’s going to murder me. She’s probably already sent out a search party for me.” And he _didn’t_ want to leave, Liam thought he could stay here in Zayn’s warm embrace, feeling pleasantly drunk but he couldn’t ignore the way his heart was pounding thinking about what would happen if he were to get caught down here.

“Do you want me to walk back with you, then?” Zayn asked.

“Please.” Zayn smiled and took Liam’s hand in his own, lacing their fingers tightly.

“Louis! Niall! I have to take Liam back before his mum gets worried. I’ll be back!” Liam waved goodbye to everyone and allowed himself to be led from the below deck space.

They climbed several flights of stairs again until reaching a sign in a darkened corridor that read:

_Notice: third class passengers are not allowed beyond this point_

“When can I see you again?” Zayn whispered, not wanting to disturb the people in the surrounding rooms.

“I think I can get away again tomorrow?” Liam said, unsure. “Maybe after lunch?”

“Do you want to meet on the third class promenade again?” Liam nodded in reply and Zayn nodded back.

“I really enjoyed tonight with you, Liam,” Zayn said, brushing Liam’s hair back gently.

“Me as well.” Zayn leaned in and kissed his cheek and then met Liam’s eyes. Liam kissed his lips, not wanting to break apart, and in that moment, he wanted to do nothing more than kiss Zayn for the rest of his life.

As he watched Zayn’s figure descending the stairs, Liam suddenly panicked, already feeling lonely again.

“Zayn!” he hissed. Zayn froze and spun to face Liam.

“Yeah, Liam?”

“Nothing I just-“ Liam stumbled, “I’ll miss you.”

“I’ll miss you too, Liam. But I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Zayn’s expression was soft and Liam wanted to go with him, he didn’t want to finish climbing the stairs on his own, he wanted Zayn by his side.

“Tomorrow,” Liam breathed and returned Zayn’s smile.

 

 

**_April, 13 1912 – 2:00 PM_ **

 

Zayn was sitting on the same bench on the deck of the third class promenade, trying again to focus on the sketch in front of him, waiting for Liam. A warm body sat down beside him on the bench and Liam said, “I didn’t know you were an artist!”

“I’m not,” Zayn said, closing the book, embarrassed. The sketch was terrible, just an outline of a woman’s face in profile, strands of her hair blowing across her face.

Liam slid the sketchbook from his lap before he could protest and started flipping through the pages in awe.

“Zayn, you’re incredible! You could sell these!” Zayn felt his ears burn as he tried to grab the book back. Liam had turned to the page where he had drawn two men in a pub, heads bowed in deep conversation.

“Thank you, but I’m not really. My sister’s a much better artist than I am, actually.”

“Your sister?” Liam asked.

“Yeah, my older sister, Doniya,” Zayn explained.

“I didn’t know you had a sister. I have two sisters, Ruth and Nicola, but they live with their father back in Wolverhampton,” said Liam.

“Their father?” Zayn questioned him.

“Yeah, their father left my mum when Ruth was a baby and then she met my father. I’ve only met them twice,” said Liam, sadly.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I have 3 sisters, Doniya, Waliyha and Safaa. They live in Bradford with my mum and dad.” Zayn didn’t want to elaborate on the fact that he hadn’t seen them since he left home when he was 15 at his father’s insistence that he get himself a good job.

Liam continued to look through his artwork, pointing out the ones that he really liked and praising Zayn.

“Could you draw me?” Liam asked suddenly, looking up at Zayn, brown eyes wide.

“Draw you? Sure, Liam, if you want me to?” said Zayn fondly.

“Right now?” Liam asked.

“Er, alright. Do you want to go somewhere a bit more… private?” Zayn looked around at the other occupied benches near them and the people walking past where they sat.

“Okay,” Liam said, brow creased as he thought. “We could go to my suite?” he suggested.

“Really?” Zayn said, heart racing for some reason.

“Yeah, Sophia and my mum said they’ll be taking their afternoon tea and then going for a stroll on the deck. They should be away for a few hours.”

“If you’re sure it will be okay?” Liam nodded in response. “Alright, let’s go!”

Liam removed his heavy black coat to reveal he was wearing a lightweight blazer under it. He gave it to Zayn to wear so he could blend in with the other first class passengers better. The coat was clearly expensive, lined with wool and it smelled like Liam’s clean scent and Zayn decided right then that he wasn’t ever going to give it back to Liam. Zayn followed Liam, sticking close behind him, as they entered the first class section of the ship. No one seemed to notice that he didn’t belong as they walked side by side down corridors and took an elegantly decorated gold elevator up several floors.

When Liam finally stopped in front of a large ornately carved door, Zayn’s heart was racing with excitement. They entered the suite and Zayn gasped as he took in the lavishly furnished parlor, which led into bedroom that was at least ten times the size of his own quarters.

He sat himself on a cream colored couch, trimmed with gold, and reclined against the silken pillows. Liam stood before him as if he was awaiting Zayn’s instructions.

“Er, sit in that chair facing me,” he said gesturing to a chair identical in style to the couch. Liam dragged it a bit closer to the couch and sat down, asking, “Here?” Zayn nodded to him.

“And just, uh turn to your left a bit… good… eyes on me,” Zayn instructed, until there was a nice crisp shadow on the left side of Liam’s face, highlighting the sharpness of his features.

“Can I-“ Liam started to say, cheeks red. “Do you think it would be okay if I took off my shirt?” he finished, looking away from Zayn.

Zayn laughed, hopefully to put Liam more at ease. Of fucking course it was okay with Zayn if Liam wanted Zayn to draw him without a shirt, what a silly question.

“Sure if you-if you feel comfortable with that…” Zayn trailed off and Liam nodded already pulling off his blazer and unbuttoning his shirt.

Zayn contained his gasp of surprise at seeing Liam’s sculpted biceps and shoulders, the smattering of dark hair across his very solid looking chest, leaving a trail down over his navel and disappearing into his trousers. The muscles in his stomach were clearly defined, rippling under his golden skin as he shifted out of his shirt completely.

Zayn hadn’t been prepared for this, he’d thought about what Liam would look like under his clothes but seeing the real thing was frankly better than he’d imagined. He swallowed and could feel his face burning, Liam’s own cheeks were already pink.

“D’you want to maybe switch? I think you might be more comfortable on this couch and I could sit in the chair?” Zayn suggested, possibly for his own benefit of seeing Liam lying shirtless on the couch.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea,” Liam agreed.

They switched their seating arrangement, and Liam reclined against the pillows, with his feet still on the floor.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Zayn urged. “Remember, you’re going to have stay in this position for a while.”

“Right,” Liam agreed and he swung his legs up onto the couch. Zayn re-assessed how Liam was now sitting and the new shadows and lines he was creating.

“Can you put your arm up behind your head?” Liam raised his right arm instead of his left like Zayn had wanted and Zayn laughed. “Other arm… okay, yeah like that.”

“How do I look?” Liam asked pulling a dramatic face.

“Just relax your face,” Zayn laughed. “Good… alright and just- try not to move.”

Zayn flipped to a clean page in his sketchbook, and set to work creating an outline with his charcoal pencil. He started with Liam’s face, trying his best to capture Liam’s likeness. He eventually lost himself in the drawing, pausing only when Liam started snickering and he had to reprimand him for it.

“Liam, stop giggling,” Zayn was trying to hold back his own laughter.

“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. You just look so serious…” Liam laughed.

“Come on, Li, if you want me to do this properly,  I need you to just relax. Can you do that for me?” Zayn asked. Liam’s complexion was more flushed than before but he nodded and was able to resume his expression from before.

Zayn painstakingly sketched every strand of Liam’s light brown hair, curling around his ears and at the ends where his fringe lay over his forehead. He brought to life Liam’s kind brown eyes under his full eyebrows, the curve of Liam’s plush lips, the large freckle on his cheek, as well as the smaller one closer to his nose… the birthmark on his throat, the light dusting of stubble over the hardness of his jaw… Zayn drew Liam’s broad shoulders, the smooth swell of his biceps, his toned forearms littered with more freckles, his large, soft-looking hands…

When he got to Liam’s stomach, he felt himself flushing as he carefully sketched each dip and curve of Liam’s abdominal muscles. Liam started laughing again, distorting his musculature, as the hard planes of his stomach tightened. Zayn admonished him again and he quieted, covering his mouth with his hand to stifle his giggles.

Zayn licked his lips unconsciously, trying not to let his mind wander to thoughts of trailing his tongue over those indents in Liam’s hips… and seeing just how far down that trail of hair went… no, that was completely unprofessional of him, he needed to focus on drawing and getting hard wasn’t going to help his concentration.

Nearly three-quarters of an hour had passed with only the sound in the room being the scratching of Zayn’s charcoal and the soft scraping sound of his thumb smudging lines on the page. He stopped his work and looked over the drawing; it was nearly finished, he just had to make a few finishing touches. Minutes later, Zayn glanced up to see Liam looking at him expectantly.

“Finished?” Liam asked and Zayn nodded.

“Can I see?” Liam sat up, looked as excited as a five-year old on Christmas morning. Zayn nodded again and beckoned him over.

Liam crouched behind him, hooking his chin over Zayn’s shoulder as they both looked at the drawing. He heard Liam’s sharp intake of breath and Zayn silently agreed. It was one of the rare times that Zayn was confident that he had managed to capture his subject’s likeness fairly accurately.

“Zayn… you’re-it’s brilliant,” Liam said. “I’m not that fit, though.”

“Come off it, Liam, ‘course you are,” Zayn assured him.

Liam kissed his cheek and said, “I love it, Zayn.”

Zayn signed the bottom--

_ZJM. 13-4-12_

\--and very carefully tore the page out and handed it to Liam.

“ZJM,” Liam read, “What’s your middle name?”

“Javadd,” Zayn replied and Liam repeated the name trying to imitate Zayn’s pronunciation.

“Zayn Javadd Malik,” Liam said thoughtfully. “Your name is beautiful.” Zayn smiled, Liam was entirely too adorable for his own good.

“Is this for me?” Liam asked, holding up the drawing.

“Yeah, keep it.”

“Are you sure?” Zayn nodded a reply.

“Thank you,” Liam said. “I think I have one of those…” he trailed off, walking away from Zayn and searching for something on a table and then a shelf on the other side of the room. He turned holding a leather portfolio, which he slipped the drawing into and closed it.

“Let me just put this somewhere where it won’t be found,” Liam said heading for his bedroom, pulling his shirt and blazer back on as he went.

Zayn took the opportunity to discreetly adjust himself in his trousers, which were feeling a bit too tight. When Liam returned, Zayn suggested that he leave in case Liam’s mother and fiancée returned. He didn’t mean to put so much emphasis on the word _fiancée_ but it wasn’t lost on Liam from the scowl on his face.

“I wish she wasn’t my fiancée,” he grumbled. “If it were up to me, she wouldn’t be, but I don’t have a choice,” he said sadly.

“Of course you have a choice, Liam, it’s your life not theirs.” Zayn didn’t know why Liam felt like he couldn’t choose what he wanted for his own life. He must feel so trapped and helpless and Zayn was beginning to understand why Liam had wanted to throw himself off of the ship the other night.

“My mum and dad are making me marry Sophia. Her family is also wealthy and my parents are good friends with her parents. She was promised to my family when she was still a baby, we grew up together and I’ve always known that we were going to get married. I was never able to choose for myself what I wanted because my parents always told me that they know what’s best for me and I trusted them. Until I met you.” Liam hid his face from Zayn as he said the last part.

Zayn felt his heart thudding uncomfortably loud as Liam’s words sunk in. _Until I met you._ He was frantically trying to think of a way to tell Liam that he felt the same way when Liam continued, “When the ship docks, I’m getting off with you, Zayn.”

“Liam,” Zayn said, taking the other boys face in both his own hands, “That’s insane.” He whispered and Liam pressed his lips to Zayn’s in response.

“I know, it doesn’t make any sense,” Liam said as they broke apart. “But it feels right… we-us together… I feel safe with you. This feels right.” Zayn nodded, noticing the way Liam’s eyes had gone glassy, tears threatening to spill over his bottom lashes.

“Me too, Liam.” Zayn was at a loss for words so he just comforted Liam, holding him tight against his own chest and he felt Liam’s arms go around his waist. They stayed like that until Liam had stopped sniffling and Zayn reminded him gently that his mother and Sophia could be returning at any moment.

“Yeah, I’ll walk you back,” Liam agreed.

“You better!” Zayn teased, slotting his hand with Liam’s and led them from the room and back down the corridor.

They kissed goodbye, Zayn pushing Liam against a wall around a corner by the stairs leading down the steerage section of the ship.

“Bye,” Liam giggled, as Zayn took Liam’s bottom lip between his teeth, hand _low_ on Liam’s lower back.

“Bye,” Zayn parroted, pecking Liam’s jaw, trailing kisses down to the birthmark on his neck.

“I’ll… _ahhh_ … I’ll see you tomorrow?” Liam asked, moaning as Zayn teased the sensitive skin below his ear.

“Definitely,” Zayn agreed, moving back up to kiss Liam’s lips one final time.

 

 

**_April 14, 1912 – 6:30 PM_ **

 

Liam smiled to himself thinking of the morning he’d spent with Zayn as he sipped his red wine. They’d met after breakfast and after playing a quick game of poker with Louis, Niall and Harry, they’d gone for a walk together. That walk had been interrupted by Zayn dragging him to the toilets where they had snogged before someone knocking frantically on the door had forced them to break apart and exit the loo, earning them a startled look of disgust from the older man on the other side of the door. Zayn had tugged them away, both dissolving into fits of laughter as they ran together down corridor after corridor, past people shouting at them to stop running.  

Liam pushed the mashed potatoes around on his plate with his fork; his steak was only half finished and he hadn’t touched the sautéed vegetables. Everyone at the table was engaged in several different conversations, but to Liam it was all the same mindless chatter. He felt disgusted just being in their presence, sick to his stomach even just entertaining the idea that this could be what the rest of his life looked like.

He tried to remember his life before he had met Zayn, even though that was just a mere 3 days ago. The dread that had plagued him imagining his wedding, being forced to move into an impossibly large mansion with Sophia, her having his children. Endless balls, yachts and parties all with the same people that he was always surrounded by, people he felt nothing for. It was such a haunting sense of detachment he could never quite put into words until now. Ironically, sailing back to America, which was the very thing he had been dreading for months, had actually turned out to the best thing that had ever happened to him. _Zayn_ was the best thing that had ever happened to him.

“Liam, darling, are you feeling alright? You’ve hardly touched your food.” Karen Payne shot him with a stern glare from where she was seated across the table from him.

“I’m fine I’m just not that hungry, mum,” Liam explained. Under the table, Sophia put her hand on his thigh. He turned to his left to look at her and she smiled at him but her eyes were full of concern. He wanted to push her hand away but knew it would be out of character if he did.

Sophia looked very pretty, as she always did, wearing a pale pink dress embellished with glittering stones woven into the lace that covered the plunging neckline. Her dark brown hair was twisted up into an elegant chignon, leaving a few curling bits to frame her face.

She may be beautiful but her feminine softness is nothing compared to the way Zayn’s long lashes almost touched the tops of his sharp cheekbones when he blinked. _Or the sound of Zayn’s laughter and the way his tongue poked from behind his white teeth when he smiled. Or the way that Zayn’s long fingers felt tracing over Liam’s flushed skin… and the plush, softness of his lips moving against Liam’s… the way Zayn tasted, sweet like butterscotch candy with a hint of smoke… what Zayn’s pink lips would look like wrapped around his cock…_

“Liam,” Sophia repeated, nudging his arm.

“What?” he asked, mentally shaking himself from his thoughts of Zayn. He looked up to see Sophia staring at him, brow furrowed in concern and annoyance.

“What is wrong with you?” she murmured through clenched teeth, digging her nails into his thigh.

“I’m actually not feeling all that well, mother, may I be excused?” He ignored Sophia completely and was already standing up from his chair. His mother raised her eyebrows in concern but she nodded and gestured to dismiss him. The rest of the people at the table also looked at him suspiciously, Sophia’s lips pursed in irritation, and he nodded to them as he excused himself.

Liam wasn’t sure what time dinner finished in steerage or where their dining room was. He wished, and not for the first time, that there was no such thing as the classes; he wished that he and Zayn could be free to eat together and spend time with each other without fear of repercussions.

As Liam walked out onto the first class promenade overlooking the third class deck, he spotted Zayn immediately, almost as if his thoughts had summoned him. He was sitting at a table with Louis, Niall and Harry. Liam practically sprinted down the stairs, almost running into two girls standing at the bottom of the staircase, who shot him dirty looks.

“Zayn!” he called and Zayn’s head whipped around to face him.

“Liam!” he stood up so fast that his chair was knocked over behind him, his hand of cards lay forgotten on the table. He was wearing the large black coat that Liam had let him borrow over a white shirt and brown slacks.

“I thought you’d still be at dinner?” Zayn reached him in two long strides and immediately wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist and pressed a kiss to his lips.

“I left early.” Liam explained, sinking into Zayn’s warm embrace, allowing Zayn’s sweet and smoky scent to envelope him.

“Boo!” Louis protested and started throwing his cards along with Niall’s and Harry’s at them.

“Oi, what’d you do that for?” Niall yelled, scrambling to recover all the cards before they were blown off the deck and into the water, Harry cursing as he helped gather the cards.  

“I’ll see you lads later!” Zayn called over his shoulder as Liam grabbed his hand and tugged him away.

“Cheers, Zayn, yeah go and have fun with your boyf-“ Louis’ shouts faded away as they rushed along the deck, hands linked.

“Where’re we going, babe?” Zayn asked him and Liam had no real answer. There wasn’t really any place that they could go but all Liam knew was that he needed to be alone with Zayn.

“I dunno, just want to be alone with you.” Liam grinned at him. Hand in hand, they raced along the deck and through the stained glass revolving doors into the foyer containing the massive grand staircase. Liam brought them to a stop, looking around, racking his brain for a place, anywhere that they could go to be alone.

“Mister Payne?” a man’s voice called from behind them. Liam yanked Zayn behind him instinctively, shielding him from view, as he caught sight of a tall man that he recognized as one of his father's business partners. He was fairly sure the man’s name was Franklin and he was one of the members of the party sent by his father, to accompany Liam’s mother to ensure that they made the journey from Wolverhampton to New York.

“C’mon, we’ve got to run!” he hissed to Zayn, knowing that Franklin had likely been instructed to follow Liam when he left the dinner table to make sure he was returning to his suite as his mother became increasingly suspicious about his behavior over the past two days. They took off together, weaving through crowds of people standing outside the gymnasium at the bottom of the staircase.

“Stop!” Liam heard Franklin calling after them.

“Who is that?” Zayn whispered.

“One of my father’s mates,” Liam explained why Franklin was chasing them in a low whisper as they sprinted down corridor, after corridor.

They reached the elevator just as the attendant was about to close the iron grates. There were a few other people crowded into the small space with them and some shot Zayn curious looks because they didn’t recognize him. Franklin came to a stop in front of the grate as the elevator had started descending.

Zayn smirked up at him and flipped him off just as they were being lowered from view. Liam held Zayn’s hand tightly behind his own thigh, stifling giggles each time Zayn caught his eye and started laughing. They were the first ones out of the elevator when it shuddered to a halt, the attendant shouting after them to not to run in the hallways.

Liam realized that they were now on the lowest level of the ship, the same level of steerage that the party he had attended with Zayn had been. He let Zayn take over in leading them as this part of the ship was more familiar to him.

“Do you know where you’re going?” he asked Zayn, laughing and feeling high from the adrenaline.

“Not really,” Zayn admitted. “I haven’t actually been there but I’m pretty sure that if we can find the baggage room, no one will be able to find us for a while.”

“That’s brilliant, Zayn!” Liam panted, his heart was thudding against his ribcage. Fortunately, they didn’t run into anyone as Zayn led them up and down the mazes of white corridors and around sharp corners. They reached a door emblazoned with a gold plaque that read, _CREW ONLY_ , and Liam breathed out a sigh of relief when Zayn tried the doorknob and it opened onto a set of very steep stairs.

“Too fucking easy!” Zayn laughed.

“Zayn, I don’t think we-“ Liam tried but Zayn cut him off, “It’ll be fine, Li, I got you.”

It was dark and much warmer than in the corridor as Zayn pulled him onto the steps and Liam tentatively descended the stairs. The further down they went, they could hear men’s voices shouting, deafening machinery and an overpowering smell of burning. This must be the boiler room; where the coal powered steam engines were.

They reached the bottom of the fourth flight of stairs and when Liam thought that they couldn’t possibly go any deeper into the bowels of the ship, they entered into a vast darkened chamber several stories high filled with grinding machines and massive gears churning. There were several dozens of fires burning brightly and hundreds of men shoveling coal, covered head to toe in soot.

“We really shouldn’t be here,” Liam hissed in Zayn’s ear, pulling him close.

“I know!” Zayn replied with a wicked grin, squeezing his hand and tugging him along.

There was a relatively clear path past the boilers that they were racing along. Liam covered his ear with his free hand in an attempt to drown out the noise and held his breath to avoid choking on the fumes. Voices were shouting down to them, warning that they didn’t have permission to be here and it was far too dangerous. Liam had broken out in a sweat both from the unbelievable heat from the flames and from the adrenaline coursing through him. The door at the far side of the chamber was steadily getting closer and closer as they ran towards it.

They skidded to halt outside the door and Zayn yanked it open and slammed it behind them after pulling Liam to the other side. They were now in yet another corridor, this one shorter and more dimly lit of any that they’d been in. the door immediately in front of them read, _BAGGAGE_ , and Zayn pushed it open, cheering that it wasn’t locked. Liam collapsed against Zayn as the door slid closed behind them. Zayn searched for a lock and succeeded in sliding the golden chain to ensure the door stayed shut.

“That… was… mad!” Liam was doubled over trying to catch his breath. Zayn pounced on him and caught him around the waist, kissing him. Liam kissed him back, and Zayn was walking them backwards into the room until Liam felt the back of his legs slam into something very solid.

“Ow!” he gasped, throwing out his arms to stop himself from falling into a tall stack of suitcases.

“Shit, are you okay?” Zayn cursed, his features a mask of concern.

“’m fine,” Liam assured him, giggling, “Look!” he pointed to one of several cars in the center of the room. Zayn’s eyes practically sparkled as he realized what Liam was insinuating.

They both reached the car and Zayn stopped outside the door, clearing his throat and extending his hand. Liam opened the door for him and helped him step up into the carriage, shutting the door with a snap behind him. Liam climbed up into the driver’s seat and still giggling, affected a Cockney accent, “Where to, sir?”

He heard Zayn’s answering shout of laughter and he grasped Liam under both his arms and dragged him backwards over the partition. Liam found himself pinned under Zayn on the velvet seat, gazing up into Zayn’s mischievous eyes. Zayn was straddling his hips and when their lips met, he could feel Zayn’s smile against his own. He shrugged out of his suit jacket and Zayn removed his borrowed coat. Zayn’s fingers unknotted Liam’s bow tie and undid the buttons on his shirt. Zayn’s warm hands slipped under fabric, fingers playing over his chest. Zayn broke the kiss to ask, “Is this okay?” Liam nodded and captured Zayn’s lips once again.

Feeling bold, Liam pressed his own hands down Zayn’s back and under the hem of his un-tucked shirt, caressing the smooth skin of Zayn’s lower back. He gasped into Zayn’s mouth when Zayn’s thumb found his nipple and gently teased the sensitive bud. Zayn snickered as he sat up, pushing Liam’s open shirt off his chest and then leaning down again to mouth over Liam’s exposed chest. He placed a hand on both of Liam’s sides under his ribs, smoothing his palms down over Liam’s hips.

When he started trailing kisses down the middle of Liam’s belly and over his navel, Liam’s hips bucked up without his permission. Zayn laughed and Liam could feel the vibration in Zayn’s throat on his lower stomach. Zayn’s hands hovered over Liam’s fly and he looked up at Liam through his long lashes.

“This okay?” Liam nodded frantically and Zayn unbuttoned his trousers and eased them down past Liam’s hips. All thoughts of embarrassment from the spot of wetness and how his erection was straining against his pants were forgotten as Zayn palmed his cock. Zayn gently stroked him through the thin cloth and Liam concentrated on not jerking his hips up in search of more friction.

“Is it alright if I take these off?” Zayn whispered and Liam nodded, mouth unable to form words. Liam lifted his hips so Zayn pull could his pants off which was slightly awkward given the cramped space in the car. Liam’s cock was curving up onto his belly steadily leaking precome. Zayn took him in his hand and Liam almost cried out with relief at finally being touched. Zayn licked his hand and carefully rolled down Liam’s foreskin, using precome to slick the glide of his practiced hand. Zayn’s brows were furrowed in concentration as he slowly jerked Liam, twisting his wrist each time he reached the head of Liam’s cock.

As good as it felt, Liam couldn’t help thinking that all the attention was focused on him and he could clearly see Zayn tenting his own trousers. Not sure what he was doing, Liam reached for the waistband of Zayn’s trousers and panted, “Wanna- _ahhh_ -“ -- _What was it that he wanted to do again?_

“’s alright, Li, wanna suck you off…” Zayn gripped him, hand sliding up and down his length, eyes locked on Liam’s, tongue darting out to trace his lower lip. Liam’s brain nearly short-circuited; " _suck you off"… what the hell did that mean? Was he really going to… ohhh…_

Zayn dipped his head to lick the tip of Liam’s dick. Liam hissed in pleasure and threw his head back as Zayn took Liam’s cock into his mouth. His outstretched arm was now pinned under Zayn’s chest, where his fingers had been fumbling awkwardly for the button on Zayn’s slacks. His fingers froze and he gave up trying to undo Zayn’s trousers, as Zayn’s mouth was clearly demanding his full attention.

Zayn seemed to know what he was doing which should have made Liam jealous that Zayn had done this for someone else before but it didn’t. Zayn placed a hand on either of Liam’s bare thighs as he bobbed his head, swallowing Liam down. The warm heat of Zayn’s mouth felt incredible, like nothing Liam had ever experienced or imagined. His whole body felt like it was on fire as he moaned, unable to articulate actual words, his heart pounding. He felt himself nearly hit the back of Zayn’s throat and Zayn gagged a bit before going back to stroking the base of his cock with a tight hand and sucking on the head.

If Zayn kept this up for much longer, Liam knew he wasn’t going to last and he supposed that the polite thing to do would be to warn Zayn of this before he just went and came down Zayn’s throat. He tugged on Zayn’s hair, words spilling from his mouth that made no sense, his thighs were trembling ominously, heat pooling in his belly as he was pushed closer to the edge by Zayn’s skilled mouth…

Seeming to realize what Liam was trying to tell him, Zayn pulled off and sat back up causing Liam to moan at the loss of Zayn’s mouth. Zayn cursed loudly as his head collided with the ceiling inside the car. After staring at one another for a couple seconds, they both burst out laughing at the absurdity of their situation; Liam’s cock leaking on his stomach, hand almost down the front of Zayn’s trousers and Zayn swearing as he rubbed the top of his head.

Zayn was nearly crying with laughter as Liam stammered, “’m sorry, I don’t know what I’m doing…”

“’s okay, you’re alright babe, you’re doing fine.” Zayn cupped his jaw and kissed him in reassurance.

“Is your head okay?” Liam asked around Zayn’s lips and the other boy nodded.

“Your _mouth_ … it felt so _good_ …” Liam gasped causing Zayn to dissolve in giggles again, pulling back from Liam’s mouth.

Liam finally succeeded in undoing Zayn’s trousers and Zayn undid the buttons of his own shirt, peeling it off his shoulders. Zayn helped Liam to wiggle his trousers down his thighs and settled himself on top of Liam again, one knee in between Liam’s thighs. Unsure of what he was doing, Liam reached into Zayn’s pants and wrapped a hesitant hand around Zayn’s cock causing Zayn to moan loudly into Liam’s shoulder where he had slumped.

“Wait… lemme just…” Zayn panted, pushing down his pants so Liam had better access to his dick. It felt strange to be stroking a cock that wasn’t his own and he had no idea what Zayn preferred so he just wanked him in the same way that he would for himself. He tightened his grip and pressed his thumb to the underside of the head of Zayn’s dick. Zayn gasped out another moan and Liam felt precome blurt over his fingers so he must be doing something right.

“Am I-this- is this right?” Liam breathed and Zayn groaned in answer, “Ahhh… fuck, feels so good, Li…” Liam could feel Zayn’s open mouth against his neck now, breath hot on his chest as he continued to jerk Zayn off, trying to keep some semblance of a rhythm. Zayn was practically thrashing on top of Liam, moving his hips in time with Liam’s hand.

“Faster, Liam…” Zayn gasped and Liam did his best to pick up the pace but it was awkward with Zayn lying on top of him. Plus, it was distracting having Zayn grinding down on his own still hard cock, precome easing the slide against Zayn’s belly.

“Here…” Zayn moaned, shifting himself up and taking Liam’s cock in his hand. He added his hand to Liam’s so their dicks were pressed together and both of them moaned loudly, Liam felt tears pricking the corners of his eyes from the intense pleasure. Zayn was more just mouthing over Liam’s unresponsive lips than actually kissing him as Liam cried out when Zayn took them both in his hand, thumb and fingers creating a tight hole for them both to fuck into.

“Zayn… ‘m gonna-” Liam whimpered as Zayn moaned, “Li, ‘m so close,” Liam wasn’t sure whether his eyes had already been squeezed shut or not, hands clawing at Zayn’s back as he arched his back as much as he could, he was so close to going over the edge. He mouthed at some part of Zayn’s face, his muscles all clenching and then spasming in sweet release, he was on _fire_ … and he nearly blacked out as he came, sparks exploding behind his eyes… not even able to enjoy the sound of Zayn following quickly; feeling Zayn’s cock twitch against his own and feeling their combined release, spilling hot on his stomach.

Zayn was still coming down from his orgasm when Liam stopped shaking violently and was able to feel his face once again, realizing he must not have been breathing as he came. He rubbed wide circles over Zayn’s shuddering back as Zayn fought to catch his breath. Liam had never had such an intense orgasm in his entire life, never felt this satisfied and he was still panting like he’d just finished running a marathon.

He opened his eyes to see Zayn collapsed on his chest, lips parted and eyes shut in ecstasy. The windows of the car were completely fogged up and both of them were drenched in sweat. He wished they could stay like this forever, blissed out, bodies pressed together in the sauna-like humidity inside the car. Liam was vaguely aware of the pool of drying come trapped between their stomachs as he lay on the seat under Zayn’s warm weight.

Zayn had picked his head up by now and was smiling lazily at Liam. He stared back searching Zayn’s wide amber eyes, noticing for the first time that Zayn had a small freckle in his left eye, right on the edge of his iris.

“Hey,” Zayn murmured, eyes shutting halfway. Liam made a noise of agreement and kissed Zayn’s nose and then his lips.

“I could stay here forever, y’know,” Liam said and Zayn sighed contentedly.

“Me too,” Zayn agreed.


	2. For Those in Peril on the Sea

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again!
> 
> This chapter contains minor (or major... it depends on how you look at it, I personally don't consider it major) character deaths. Yes _deaths_ , plural. Without spoiling anything, its not graphic and for the most part its just implied/off-screen deaths. I wouldn't consider it a MCD fic but I apologize in advance if anyone feels like it is. I promise its not graphic.
> 
> I based the character of Liam's mom off of Rose's mom, Ruth, in the movie _Titanic_ (she's a flaming bitch in case you're unaware) so this is no way a reflection of the real Karen Payne. In real life Mrs. Payne is a lovely woman. 
> 
> All the details about the sinking of the ship are based upon [this](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinking_of_the_RMS_Titanic) wikipedia page and also from the film.
> 
> The source I used for the lullaby can be found [here](http://www.babycenter.com/0_lullaby-lyrics-lavenders-blue-dilly-dilly_6743.bc)
> 
> Once again, half of this part has been beta'd. Any and all mistakes are my own.

**PART 2: For Those in Peril on the Sea**

_ Eternal Father, strong to save, _

_ Whose arm hath bound the restless wave,  _

_ Who bidd'st the mighty ocean deep _

_ Its own appointed limits keep; _

_ Oh, hear us when we cry to Thee, _

_ For those in peril on the sea! _

_ \-- _

-Eternal Father (The Navy Hymn)

William Whiting (1860)

 

**_April 14, 1912 – 11:30 PM_ **

 

They must have fallen asleep, Zayn realized blinking and rubbing his bleary eyes. He was still lying on top of Liam on the seat of the car in the baggage room. Thankfully Liam had had the sense to clean up the come with a handkerchief from their stomachs before they fell asleep. He remembered how they had both thought it was funny that he was using his silk, monogrammed handkerchief to wipe up come.

He pushed himself up on his elbows so he was hovering over Liam. He took a moment to admire the sleeping boy’s soft expression, cherry lips pouting, breathing softly and slowly out his nose.

“Li,” he muttered, repeatedly pressing fingers into a fleshy part of Liam’s shoulder until Liam blinked and scrunched his face up to yawn.

“Oh, shit,” Liam rubbed his eyes and had to stop them from both tumbling out of the seat as he shifted them into a sitting position. “How long were we asleep?” Zayn laughed in response causing Liam to shoot him a slightly annoyed look and to ask, “What’s funny?”

“It’s just that’s the first time I’ve heard you curse.” Zayn told him.

“And?” Liam asked, unimpressed.

“It’s attractive, you should do it more often.” Zayn pecked his lips.

“Alright, but I’d still like to know what time it is.” Zayn grabbed Liam’s wrist and read the time from Liam’s watch, “It’s half eleven, darling.” He said imitating a posh London accent.

“Oh right.” Liam said looking at his watch as though he’d remembered something important. “Well as lovely as it would be to just stay here with you…”

“… We should probably get out of here.” Zayn finished for him. Liam nodded, “Exactly.”

Zayn sat up all the way, disentangling his legs from Liam’s, buttoning his trousers and shirt and pulling on Liam’s coat. Once Liam had sorted himself out as well, Zayn opened the car door and climbed down, Liam jumping down behind him.

They had just barely exited the car when Zayn felt the violent shudder, an impact coming from somewhere Zayn couldn’t place. It happened so suddenly, that Zayn wasn’t sure if he was imagining it or not. The jolt almost caused his knees to buckle under him as he regained his bearings, searching the room for the source of the impact.

“What the hell was that?” Liam asked, looking over at him in a panic.

“You felt it too, then?” Zayn replied.

“’Course I did, d’you think- d’you think maybe the ship hit something?” Liam’s eyes were owlishly round.

“Yeah, maybe, that’s what I was thinking, too.”  _ This can’t be happening, no, no… _ Zayn didn’t add this, not wanting to scare Liam even more than he probably was already.

“We definitely should get out of here now, get back up on deck and see what’s happening.” Zayn nodded in agreement with Liam. They both rushed to the door leading away from the baggage room and retraced their path back to the boiler room.

This time Zayn didn’t even pay attention to any of the loud machinery, men yelling or the heat from the fires, as they sprinted from one end of the room to the other. Time seemed like it was moving at double speed, as Zayn found himself clutching Liam’s arm as they stood at the bottom of one of the main staircases leading to the upper decks. There were people spilling out of their rooms from every direction, forming a massive crowd of panicking passengers. Men, women and children all talking at once, some were crying and yelling. It was utter chaos and the last thing Zayn wanted to do was fight with this crowd to get to the stairs.

“Is there another way to get back up on deck?” Liam asked him, frozen in place as he took in the sight before them.

“Nope.” Zayn said grimly, he could feel his body going into full on panic mode-  _ what the hell were they going to do? _

Someone was yelling over the crowd, “The ship has been hit, it’s already started to take on water!” and was answered by hundreds of cries of terror.

More people had started to queue up behind them, so both him and Zayn were forced to walk forward. Bodies were now pressing against him from all angles, shoving to get past them and everyone in front of them. He realized they were slowly being forced onto the stairs and nearly fell when he tripped over the bottom step. Everyone was trying to get through the congested doorway, he heard stranger’s voices all around him,  _ “What’s happening?”, “What did we hit?”, “Is the ship sinking?” _ echoing his own thoughts.

“We’re gonna be alright, love.” Liam muttered, squeezing his hand. Zayn swallowed and squeezed back.

“The ship’s unsinkable.” Liam continued and Zayn wished he could agree; the ship was  _ huge _ and made of iron, he realized, it was entirely possible and probable that it could sink.

“No, babe, it’s made of iron, it definitely could sink.” His head was spinning from the adrenaline and the claustrophobia of being surrounded by so many people.

They were making their way down a hallway now, still way too far below the deck for comfort. Zayn felt trapped like a rat in a maze. Impatiently Zayn tugged Liam through the crowd, weaving around bodies, until they reached a clearer path. The lights in the corridor flickered twice, emitting screams from the crowd.

“We need to get away from here!” he shouted to Liam, knowing it was in vain, there was no faster way for them to escape.

Fortunately the crowd was considerably thinner now as they kept running. They nearly pushed past an officer, only pausing when he thrust two off-white lifejackets at Zayn.

“Not to worry, not worry, just put these on, then,” he told them.

“Right!” Zayn scoffed at the officer, practically dragging Liam by the hand. He groaned when he saw what lay ahead; another huge crowd of people just standing, effectively halting his forward motion.“What now!” he sighed in exasperation, “Don’t they realize we need to  _ move _ ?” Liam slammed against his side as they were forced to skid to a stop. Zayn stood on his toes trying to see over the crowd.

“ _ Zayn _ ! There you are, thank god!” Louis’ distinctive shout cut through the din of the crowd.

“Bloody hell! Zayno!” and that was Niall. Zayn couldn’t see them though. Suddenly a hand clamped down on his arm as Louis pushed past a woman who glared at him, deeply offended.

“Look, lady, we’ve got bigger fish to fry than-“ Louis started to snap a retort but the woman was already out of sight.

“Where the hell have you been, Malik, we’ve been searching the whole ship for ya!” Louis had tackled him around the middle in a tight hug and Zayn clapped him on the back. When they broke apart, he saw Niall and Harry standing behind Louis, looking immensely relieved.

“Never mind that,” Louis said when Zayn failed to answer, Liam shooting him a guilty look.

“We were looking all over for you when we felt the boat hit and we were comin’ back to our cabin after looking for you, right? And we get there, there was all this  _ water _ all over the floor ‘bout half foot deep, so we got the hell out of there! Harry reckoned we ought to follow the rats and they led us here!” He finished and Harry grinned proudly at the mention of his accomplishment.

“That’s really great, Lou,” Zayn said sarcastically, “But I’d really like to find out why this lot is just standing here, we need to get up them stairs!”

The five of them wormed their way through the horde of people, until the reason no one was moving became clear.

“Open the bloody gate!” yelled a young man who was forcibly jostling the metal gate that was blocking the top of the stairs. The steward dressed in white was trying to make him stop, eyes pleading and saying, “It’s not time to board the lifeboats yet!”

Zayn was now just behind the man rattling the bars and he was able to squeeze next to him. He clawed his hand around the metal, shaking it violently, Louis and Liam beside him doing the same and met the eyes of the steward shouting, “Open it!”

“I must ask you to stop! Turn around and go the other way!” The steward was a small rodent-like man with watery eyes.

“Listen pal, there is no other way out! This ship is sinking, you can’t keep us locked up like animals!” Louis shouted, slamming his full body weight against the bars, able to fit his slim arm through and grab the man by the collar.

“Go back down the stairs and take the corridor to the-“

“Did you hear me? The ship’s bloody sinking! Let us through!” Louis yelled, his hand fisted in the fabric of the man’s uniform. While the man was attempting to fight off Louis, Zayn slid his own arm through the bars, fingers straining to reach the ring of keys jingling in the man’s hand. Zayn felt his fingers close around the cool iron of the key ring and he yanked it from the steward’s grasp with a triumphant shout.

“Brilliant, Zayn!” Louis cried, releasing the man.

“To hell with you!” the steward choked out and turned to sprint in the other direction. Zayn was already trying all the keys, arm painfully twisted around to reach the lock. Liam’s hand was on his waist steadying him as he used both hands to try to insert each of the tiny keys into the lock. He felt the key slide into place and heard the satisfying click of the lock as he twisted it.

“Got it!” he gasped, prying apart the gate. Several people cheered him, patting him on the back, as all of them rounded the corner and started running down the hallway.

They ran into Eleanor and Perrie who were clutching one another, running together down the hallway in the opposite direction. Both were wearing life-vests over their long dark brown coats and Eleanor had a knitted shawl over her hair.

“C’mon, this way!” Louis said, welcoming them to their group.

“We’ve already been that way!” Perrie protested, fresh tear tracks staining her cheeks, “They wouldn’t let us through! They kept shouting ‘women and children only!’ we  _ are _ women, the bastards!”

“Well we just got through one gate, some prick had locked it and wouldn’t let us through,” Zayn explained.

“Yeah and then Malik here, the hero, got the keys from him and now here we are! Let’s see if we can’t work our magic again, eh?” said Louis brightly.

Sure enough as they reached the end of the hallway, a loud male voice was shouting, “Women and children only at this time! Women and children only! I said women and children only at this time, sir!” There was another massive throng of people on the stairs leading to yet another blocked doorway.

“Shit, look!” Louis said, grabbing Zayn’s arm and spinning him around. Water was seeping ominously down the hallway they’d just sprinted down. It was only a couple centimeters deep but the speed with which it was creeping up was alarming. It reminded Zayn of the one time he’d been to the beach and watched the tide rush in over the sand. Only this time he didn’t find it very relaxing.

They pushed their way through to the front like before and this time there were three stewards standing on the other side of gate. Louis shook the iron bars in frustration.

“Open the gate!”

“Women and children only, sir!” the man replied, shaking his head.

“There are women and children still down here, you blind son of a bitch!” Louis yelled, face pressed against the bars.

Liam and Niall were kicking the bars and they gave only a couple inches, swinging back into place each time. Zayn looked around frantically trying to spot something,  _ anything  _ that they could use as a battering ram. Behind a mother and her sobbing children, he sighted a bench and his heart leapt.

“Liam! Louis! Stop, look over here!” Once he had their attention, he pointed to the bench.

“It’s bolted to the floor!” Liam observed, and Zayn’s mood plummeted.

“Let’s rip it up!” Louis suggested, and he, Liam, Niall and Zayn set to work trying to yank the wooden bench from the floor.

“One… two… three… pull!” Liam led the four of them. Zayn pulled on the bench with all his strength and between the four of them, they were able to pull the bench free with a satisfyingly loud crack.

“Get out of the way, out of the way!” Eleanor and Harry shouted as they carried the incredibly heavy bench up the stairs. The sea of people parted to let them through, the three men on the other side of the gate’s eyes were like saucers.

“Put that down! Put that down, I said- don’t you dare-“ one shouted but they were already charging at the gate with a running start. The bench slammed into the iron bars, warping them slightly in the center but it was a good sign that it would eventually give.

“Again!” Zayn yelled and the five of them heaved the bench forward once again. It smashed into the bars, breaking the center partition but not the lock. Zayn’s back and arms were starting to ache as the adrenaline was wearing off and his body was feeling the result of ramming the bench.

“Ready… NOW!” Louis yelled this time and they rammed the gate one last time and the lock snapped off allowing them to crash through onto the other side. The stewards were pressed against the wall of the corridor in horror and yelling at them as they darted past.

“Stop! You can’t go tha-“ Louis punched the steward that was yelling square in the face.

They were now mercifully only one level below the deck and they could hear the commotion overheard. People were shouting, whistles were screeching and children were crying. As they started up the stairs, the ship gave a horrifying lurch and a loud groan and all seven of them were thrown against the wall.

“Is everyone okay?” Eleanor asked in a shaky voice. Zayn had knocked his shin on the edge of a step and his shoulder had hit the wall rather painfully, but he decided he was unharmed. The whole ship seemed to be on a tilt forwards now; it was slight but noticeable and absolutely terrifying to Zayn.

Once he’d regained his footing on the stairs, Zayn heard Perrie and Niall say they were okay. He reached behind him and found Liam’s hand, next seeking out Liam’s face who smiled at him weakly.

They all continued up the stairs, feet pounding on the steps, up to the main part of the ship. There was a loud sound like a cannon being shot and Zayn saw as he stepped from the stairs to the first class promenade, the sparkling gold distress flares shooting into the sky like fireworks. The next thing he saw were the people everywhere, all wearing white lifejackets, in various states of dress; some were wearing nightclothes and others were still dressed like they were going to dinner.

There were clusters of people all along the deck crowded around massive lifeboats that were slowly being filled. More shouts of “Women and children, first!” echoed up and down the deck. There were couples crying and kissing goodbye and children screaming as they were separated from their fathers.

In the midst of the chaos, a string quintet was playing a tune that sounded like something at a wedding, oddly happy and out of place.

“Music to drown by, now I know I’m in first class,” Niall scoffed.

It was a bitterly cold April night, Zayn and everyone else’s breath were all visible little puffs of vapor. The sky was clear and all the stars were glittering silver pinpricks against the ebony vastness.

They were standing close enough to the rigging on the side of the ship that Zayn could see over the edge and into the Atlantic Ocean. The lights from all the portholes along the ship were reflecting off the glossy water like Christmas lights.

His fingers were linked with Liam’s as their group cautiously started forward, unsure of where to go.

“They’re only letting women and children onto the lifeboats, Zayn,” Liam unnecessarily pointed out as if Zayn wasn’t already aware.

“I know, babe. So I’ve heard,” said Zayn.

“What the hell are we going to do, Zayn? We have to get off the ship!“ Liam panicked. He was pale and clearly very scared.

“Liam, listen to me,” Zayn said, taking Liam’s face between his hands. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? We’re gonna to be okay. Take a deep breath.” Liam blew out a shaky breath, tears were welling up in his eyes.

“I need you to be brave, Liam,” Zayn said, feeling like crying too.

“But I’m so scared, Zayn,” Liam said very quietly. Zayn wished he do more to calm Liam down, he absolutely hated seeing him like this. His own heart was racing and he himself was more scared than he’d ever been in his life but at that moment, ensuring that Liam was alright was more important.

“I know. I am too. Scared shitless. But we’re gonna make it through this, okay?” Zayn said, not believing his own words but hoping that it was comforting to Liam. Liam eventually nodded and Zayn wiped the tears off Liam’s cheeks.

“C’mon, Liam, let’s find a lifeboat that will have us. Maybe there’s one on the other side.” He sincerely doubted it but he took Liam’s hand once again and started tugging him along to catch up with Louis and the others. He was praying that this small spark of hope would be enough to distract Liam and himself from losing hope.

And that’s what he continued to tell himself as they walked, starting a sort of internal mantra of:  _ Keep thinking positive, we’re going to be fine, Liam and I will survive this together… somehow. _

They approached several very finely dressed women who were waiting their turn to be helped into a lifeboat. A pair of women were looking around frantically, the younger of the two clutching onto the older woman’s upper arm. Zayn realized where he’d seen the young woman with sleek brown hair before and before he got a chance to warn Liam, she had spotted him.

“Liam! Oh thank god, you’re alright! We’ve been so worried!” Sophia said letting go of Liam’s mum and running towards them, holding up the train of her light pink dress as it flowed out behind her under her fur cape and lifejacket.

Stunned, Liam let go of Zayn’s hand quickly and embraced her when she draped herself over him dramatically. When they broke apart, her arm still around his waist, she seemed to realize that they weren’t alone and her gaze fell on Zayn.

“Darling, who’s this?” she asked Liam, eyes curiously taking Zayn in.

“Um…“ Liam paused, rubbing the back of his neck.

“Zayn!” Louis cried, hand closing on his shoulder as he materialized behind Zayn. Louis started to say something else but Zayn wasn’t paying attention as he listened to Sophia and Liam’s conversation.

“Zayn? As in Z-J-M?” Sophia’s eyes widened and her entire demeanor changed instantly. She fixed Liam with a glare, crossing her arms and taking a step away from him.

“Wh-what did you just say?” Liam asked, voice wavering.

“Z-J-M,” she repeated slowly, “like the signature on the drawing I found. The  _ shirtless _ drawing of  _ you _ !” She snarled, pointing at him accusingly. “I don’t think there’s too many other people with the first initial of Z on this ship, Liam.”

“I’ll uh- I’ll meet up with you later, Z,” Louis said in Zayn’s ear. Zayn turned to see him gesturing to Harry and Niall. “We’re gonna see if we can get a lifeboat…” he trailed off, squeezing Zayn’s shoulder, giving him a worried look and then disappearing.

Zayn himself wanted to disappear when Sophia turned her attention on him. She looked back and forth between them, fuming.

“Soph, please don’t…“ Liam tried and Zayn could tell that he didn’t know what to say to her.

“What Liam?” she asked callously, “When were you going to tell me about this? Whatever  _ this _ is?” she punctuated the word by motioning between Zayn and Liam.

“It’s-I-we’re…” Liam was floundering and Zayn felt helpless, not knowing his place or whether it would make things worse if he cut in.

“You like men?” she sneered. Zayn bit his tongue in anger at her tone of disgust.

“I’m-I don’t…” Liam’s face crumpled, and Zayn wanted to comfort him so badly his hands twitched in frustration.

“What’s going on here?” Liam’s mother had appeared between Sophia and Liam, touching Liam’s arm. She was wearing a ridiculously large hat with a fur trim as well as clutching a fur muff.

“Liam are you alright, where have you been?” she asked.

Zayn couldn’t stand seeing Liam in such obvious discomfort anymore and gave in. He moved so he was standing next to Liam, pressed against his side and took Liam’s hand in his own.

“Who is this?” Mrs. Payne asked Liam, gesturing to Zayn.

“Mum, this is Zayn,” Liam said weakly.

“Hello,” Mrs. Payne said coldly and Zayn could feel her gaze take in his attire, including Liam’s jacket and her nose wrinkled in distaste.

“Do you know what happened, mum?” Liam asked his mother suddenly.

“Yes, dear, the ship hit an iceberg about an hour or so ago, didn’t you hear?” Mrs. Payne said, rolling her eyes, annoyed. “And now we’re apparently evacuating the ship because it’s supposedly going to sink. I swear the level of incompetence of the staff is truly remarkable. It’s bad enough I have to wear this thing,” she tugged on her lifejacket, “and they wouldn’t let Sophia and I return to the suite to pack our things. And they were quite rude on top of that, rushing us to get out here on the deck. I do hope that someone is retrieving our luggage and will get it to us when we reach America.”

Her voice was lofty and arrogant and it made Zayn’s blood boil, frustrated that someone could be so ignorant, especially given the current circumstances. He was disgusted that someone as sweet and loving as Liam had been brought up by this monster of a woman. He wanted to steer Liam away from both her and Sophia and never have to listen to either of them speak ever again.

“Don’t change the subject, Liam,” Sophia spoke up again. “Do you realize how embarrassing this will be for me when this gets out? That I’m engaged to a- to a…” she couldn’t finish, frustrated tears spilling down her face.

“When what gets out, darling?” Mrs. Payne asked, confused. “Sophia, what on earth are you talking about?”

“I found a drawing in Liam’s room of him shirtless and it was signed Z-J-M which quite obviously means it was Zayn that drew it,” Sophia huffed.

“Is this true, Liam?” Mrs. Payne asked. Liam looked like was going to be sick and Zayn was seething with anger about remaining silent watching them interact, holding his tongue, lest he make this situation worse. He squeezed Liam’s hand in solidarity, unable to do anything else.

“Yes,” Liam admitted quietly, cheeks burning with embarrassment. Zayn thought about lying and saying it was all his idea but he didn’t think it would make any difference.

“Well, what have you got to say for yourself?” Liam’s mother pressed.

“I… I want to call off the engagement, Sophia, I’m sorry,” Liam said finally after hesitating for several long seconds.

“I think that’s an excellent idea. I’m glad that it appears you still have a brain after all.” Sophia slid the ring off of the finger on her left hand, and for a second Zayn thought she was going to throw it at Liam, but instead she took his free hand and forced it into his palm.

Stunned, Liam opened and then closed his mouth as she turned and stalked off in a huff. Liam passed the ring from his left hand into his right, briefly letting go of Zayn’s, and Zayn felt him put the ring in his coat pocket. Mrs. Payne watched her go and then turned back to face Liam.

“Don’t worry about her, dear, she’ll come around. This is not a big deal, as soon as we get to New York, you can leave this all behind you and no one else will ever have to know about it.” She reached for him, most likely in a way that she thought would be comforting but he recoiled from her, leaning farther into Zayn’s side.

“No, mum, I meant what I said. I’m breaking off the engagement, Sophia and I are through. I’m not going with you to New York,” Liam said taking his mother and Zayn by surprise by his sudden confidence.

“Don’t be silly,” Mrs. Payne laughed, though clearly taken aback by her son’s words. “Of course you’re coming with us. Wherever these wretched lifeboats are taking us, you’ll be headed there too, once they start letting men on. You’ll just meet us when we arrive in America. Where else would you go?”

“You don’t get it, mother,” Liam said through clenched teeth. “I am not. Going. With. You.”

Zayn couldn’t hold his tongue any longer and he took the pause in the conversation as Mrs. Payne stared at Liam in incredulity as an opportunity to speak up.

“With all due respect, ma’am,” he said, keeping his voice as even as he could, “This isn’t really the time or place to be arguing like this.” Mrs. Payne gaped at him, mouth moving wordlessly. Zayn continued while he was still feeling bold, “Your son will be safe with me, you should get yourself to a lifeboat while you still can,” he put his arm securely around Liam. “C’mon Liam, let’s go.”

And they left her standing there, disbelief etched onto her face. An officer had taken her by the arm and was leading her away to be helped into a lifeboat.

“Liam! Liam, come back I’m sorry! Liam!” Zayn could hear her yelling faintly and with a pang of guilt, he remembered his own mother yelling to him when he’d left his childhood home back in Bradford.

“Do you want to go back?” Zayn asked him. Liam shook his head and he allowed himself to be led by Zayn towards the opposite deck.

They went up a short set of stairs, crossed the top of the bridge past the glass compartment where the captain was, and back down to the other side. 

“I’m sorry it happened like that, babe,” Zayn said, stopping him with a hand on his arm.

“I’m relieved to not be engaged anymore, at least,” Liam said bitterly.

“Are you okay, Liam?” Zayn asked.

“Yeah, I mean… no, but I’ll get over it. I do feel sort of guilty, y’know?” Liam shrugged. Zayn kissed him because he couldn’t stand the dejected look on Liam’s face. When they broke apart Zayn grinned at him and was relieved when Liam smiled back.

“C’mon,” Zayn said and they continued walking briskly.

They found their friends standing in a queue for one of the lifeboats, Louis, of course, was arguing loudly with an officer.

“This is bullshit!” he snapped, arms spread wide, indicating the chaos on the deck as a whole. “What are we supposed to do, huh? You’re just going to let us all drown?”

“Louis-“ Harry warned.

“I’m sorry sir, but there’s nothing I can do. We are currently only accepting first class women and children into the lifeboats,” the officer said walking away from him.

Niall had to grab the back of Louis’ jacket to prevent him from going after the man.

“Oh so it’s  _ first class _ women and children now! You won’t get away with this!” Louis screamed after him. And then to no one in particular, “Bullshit, this is all bullshit, we’re all dying here and they’re doing nothing about it! They don’t give a shit!”

“Shut up, Tommo!” said Niall, shaking him.

Perrie was crying, her face buried in Eleanor’s shoulder. Harry was rubbing her back soothingly, looking on the verge of tears himself.

“We’re fucked, completely fucked,” Louis muttered into Niall’s shoulder.

“The way I see it, we’ve got two options,” Niall said grimly. “We can either sneak onto a lifeboat somehow or we can jump off the boat.”

“If we jump off, there’s no way any of us’d be able to swim far enough away from the ship when it sinks to avoid the suction,” Zayn reasoned.

“The suction?” Harry asked.

“Yeah, when something as massive as this ship is goes into the sea, the displacement of the water creates a powerful suction, sucking down anything close to it,” Zayn explained.

Everyone fell silent and stared at him in horror.

“How’d you know that?” Niall questioned.

“I read it somewhere,” Zayn replied.

“You’re so smart, Zayn,” Liam said looking at him in a way that caused Zayn’s heart to melt.

“What do you suggest we do then, Zayn?” Harry asked.

“Our best bet is to stay on the ship for as long as possible,” Zayn said. “We’ll still get pulled under by the suction when the whole thing goes down but it will give us more time. That water is freezing cold, if we’re submerged, we’ll freeze to death in less than an hour, I’d guess. The lifeboats will all probably be trying to get out of range of the suction. Hopefully they’ll come back when it’s over to pick up survivors.”

The group was hanging onto Zayn’s every word, Perrie had even stopped crying in order to listen.

“You really think that’ll word, Z?” Louis asked, skeptically.

“I think so, but we’ll find out, won’t we?” Zayn said.

Another round of distress flares were being shot into the inky black sky and for a moment they were the only source of illumination as all the lights on the ship went out. People all around them screamed, Liam’s arms went around Zayn’s waist and he tucked his face into Zayn’s neck. The ship was now tilted forward even more causing everyone standing on the deck to slide. Zayn’s heart stopped as he and Liam’s feet slid a couple inches across the planks of the deck. He held onto Liam so tight he knew he’d leave bruises on Liam’s arms.

Thankfully, some of the lights started to come back on. Zayn looked up at the orange and black smoke towers, looming over them, no longer billowing clouds of steam. Where they were standing was pretty much in the center of the ship. Everything was slanting towards the bow of the ship, the massive towers now leaning precariously. The rigging that held them up was straining and creaking as the weight of the towers threatened to break them.

“It’s going down fast by the bow!” Zayn said. “We need to get to the stern, right now!” He watched a man near them climb over the rail and jump off.

They ran uphill away from the bridge, pushing past other passengers milling about. Zayn realized with overwhelming dread just how steep their uphill trek was as his boots attempted to find purchase; the whole ship must be more than a third of the way submerged already.

At the edge of the first class deck, they went down the stairs and were now on the third class promenade. The familiar deck was unrecognizable covered in people running uphill, pushing and yelling at one another. On both sides of the deck, more and more people were jumping off into the water.

A group of people they passed were surrounding a reverend, praying loudly. Passengers had suitcases lifted above their heads, wading through the crowds. Zayn saw people that had been knocked over and were now being trampled as they screamed for help.

“Shit, no, no, this can’t be happening, Zayn!” Liam was panicking.

“C’mon, Liam, we’re gonna make it, babe-“ Zayn said, desperate to get to the stern.

They squeezed past slowly sliding tables and chairs, feet slipping over the wooden deck. Liam was gripping his hand so tightly, he was having trouble feeling his fingers, already numb from the cold. Zayn panted, his lungs were aching from running so much and he was regretting every single cigarette he’d ever smoked in his whole life.

Zayn could see the railing of the stern ahead of them, reminding him of three nights ago, running to stop the first class boy who was climbing over, trying to end his life. He thought of telling Liam as much, but realized how morbid it sounded in his head and decided not to.

They were still meters from the railing when the ship gave a terrifying jolt backwards, causing Zayn’s heart to skip. The volume of the screams all around them increased, shrieking and cursing hysterically.

“Zayn!” Liam yelled.

“Oh no, no, oh shit!” Zayn gasped.

The deck slid out from under his feet and Zayn stumbled, thankful that Liam had been able to remain upright and was able to pull him back to his feet. Tables and chairs were sliding backwards, coming right at them; Zayn narrowly missed being hit by an oncoming table.

Zayn was clutching onto Liam to keep from falling over again, boots sliding every time he tried to make his feet carry him forward.

The sound of ship was like thunder, a deep vibration under their feet. The ship groaned and running forward felt impossible, like climbing up the side of a cliff.

“Zayn! C’mon, Zayn!” Liam yelled dragging him forward. “I’ve got you.” Zayn pushed himself forward, his legs protesting the uphill struggle.

The railing was close, Zayn put out his arm and his fingers closed around the freezing iron rail. Liam was pressed against his right side, also gripping the rail, his other arm anchored around Zayn’s waist.

Harry had lost his footing before he reached the rail and Niall tried to stop him, Louis was shouting, “Harry, no!” but he slid away down the deck. Zayn called out to him as well, uselessly, as he watched the boy fall until he disappeared into the crashing waves far, far below.

“Oh god, Harry!” Niall cried.

“Shit! Shit! Oh shit!” Louis was yelling from somewhere to his left.

“Eleanor!” Perrie screeched as the other girl’s hand slipped from Perrie’s grip and Eleanor tumbled away from them screaming.

“No! Eleanor, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-“ Perrie was hysterical.

“Shit!” Louis yelled again.

People all around them were jumping off the ship. Louis was on Zayn’s other side, Perrie next to him and Niall was Liam’s other side.

Without warning all the lights went off once again and this time was accompanied by a sound like the loudest thunder Zayn had ever heard. Then there was an ominous groaning, a violent shudder and a sound like a dozen gunshots. Zayn turned his head, gripping the rail tightly and watched the ship was break apart. The boards of the deck several meters away were popping and splintering as half of the great ship was severed.

“Holy fuck.” He breathed and heard Louis and Niall cursing as well.

The sound the split made was deafening as frigid water flooded all around swallowing the broken off portion into the sea.

“Hold on!” he realized he was shouting as the stern slowly tilted forwards. Zayn’s stomach lurched as the ship crashed back down into the water and the deck was level once again.

They bobbed like that twice more, rocking slowly making Zayn feel even more nauseous from the motion. Zayn’s heart stopped when he realized what was about to happen:  _ the suction. _

“Oh shit, shit the suction!” he called. “The suction’s going to pull us down! We have to get on the other side of the rail!” he was already swinging his leg over and adjusting his footing and Liam did the same, they were both hanging off the back of the ship. Louis and Niall climbed over as well. Perrie was struggling to swing herself over the rail; her long skirt was tangled around her legs. Louis grabbed her arms and tried to pull her over.

“I can’t!” she cried, face shining with tears. Zayn was too far to reach her.

Then with a groan, the broken ship was again tilting back up rapidly at a steep angle.

“Hold on!” Zayn yelled again. His fingers felt frozen solid to the rail.

In a matter of seconds, the entire stern tilted so it was at least 70 feet in the air, like some twisted version of an amusement park ride. Waves were crashing all around the bottom of the portion of the ship, greedily sucking it into the ocean.

Zayn barely registered the screams all around them. Perrie was shrieking as she dangled by her hands from the rail. He watched with a detached sort of horror all the people sliding down the deck and falling into the foaming blue water. Bodies fell and ricocheted sickeningly off of parts of the ship, pin-wheeling down into the churning depths.

He made eye contact with Perrie, eyes brimming with tears, her fingers no longer able to keep her grip on to the rail and she was forced to let go.

“Perrie!” Louis shouted but it was too late. She was already gone.

The water that had only seconds ago seemed ages away was closing in on them at an alarming rate. Zayn wasn’t even registering fear anymore, the inside of his brain felt like static, focusing all his energy on holding the rail.

“This is it, lads!” Niall hollered over the roaring water.

“Oh shit!” Louis yelled.

“We’re gonna make it, Liam,” Zayn said to Liam who looked as scared as he felt. “Take a deep breath when I say, okay?”

Liam nodded and said, “Kick for the surface.” Zayn was inconveniently reminded for the first time that night that he couldn’t swim and was suddenly even more grateful for the lifejacket he was wearing.

“And don’t let go of my hand,” he added.

 

 

**_April 15, 1912 – 2:20 AM_ **

 

Everything was drowned out by the roar of the ocean as it closed in around the deck. Liam watched in horror as the churning water rushed closer and closer…

“Now!” Zayn called as Liam felt the spray of seawater on his face, he sucked in a breath of cold air, found Zayn’s hand and squeezed it just as tightly as he’d been gripping the rail as his world was plunged into icy darkness.

A thousand daggers were stabbing and slicing all over his body, he couldn’t remember anything but the pain, couldn’t hear anything but the rushing water... there was no way of knowing which way was up… everything hurt so much… Zayn’s hand was still in his but he couldn’t see or feel the rest of him… _Zayn! Zayn can’t swim!_ But he was helpless, he couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t _move_ …

_ Kick! _ He remembered, thrashing and twisting around underwater, being pulled deeper…  _ Keep kicking! _  The suction was so powerful, but he was fighting it with help from the lifejacket, he was dragging Zayn upwards along with him…  _ Kick harder! Gotta reach the surface, c’mon kick! _

His face broke the surface and he breathed in a lungful of air and felt the oxygen rush back to his brain, unfogging his mind.

“Zayn!” Liam was still gripping Zayn’s hand tightly as Zayn’s head broke the surface next to him. A chorus of screams encircled them and choppy waves were smacking them in the face.

“Liam!” Zayn coughed and spat out a mouthful of water, pushing his wet hair out of his eyes and gasping out clouds of vapor.

“Are you alright?” Liam asked him.

Liam was panting hard as well, still kicking furiously to keep them afloat in the freezing water. Zayn was bobbing next to him, probably saved more by his lifejacket than Liam dragging him to the surface.

“Yep, I think so. Fuck, it’s so cold. I can’t feel anything!” Zayn answered, teeth already chattering. Liam couldn’t tell if Zayn was actually treading water too or just depending on Liam and the lifejacket to keep him floating.

People were shrieking and coughing all around them, he looked around in the chaos for Niall and Louis but didn’t see them.

“C’mon, we have to find something to float on!” Zayn commanded and Liam answered, “Okay.”

Liam helped Zayn through the water, past men, women and children bobbing on the surface, crying and yelling for help. Debris from the ship was scattered over the ocean surface between the struggling people. They swam past wooden deck chairs, pieces of doors, and other unrecognizable items. A large overturned collapsible lifeboat was already being swamped by at least thirty people attempting to climb onto it as it sunk into the ocean.

Finally, Liam spotted a large flat object, barely visible in the dark atop the black water, which no one had claimed yet. As they got closer he realized it seemed to be a very wide door and it seemed like it would be big enough for both of them.

“Think this’ll work?” he asked and Zayn nodded in response.

“Test it though, see how it will hold weight,” Zayn suggested.

He let go of Zayn’s hand and hoisted himself up and it held surprisingly well.

“C’mon,” he said reaching for Zayn to help him climb up. Fortunately Zayn was lighter than he was and the door tipped a little but Liam was able to use his weight as a counter-balance to allow Zayn to get on.

He gathered Zayn to his chest and Zayn wrapped his arms around Liam’s waist. Liam threw his leg over top both of Zayn’s and it was almost like they were cuddling on a bed, he thought. A very hard, cold and wet, floating bed in the middle of a frigid ocean with screams for help echoing all around them.

“Cozy.” He said into Zayn’s freezing hair, earning a small smile from Zayn when he looked up at him, long eyelashes coated in tiny ice crystals. Like everything else, Zayn’s face was tinted a sickly blue in the moonlight reflecting off the sea. He was shivering violently under Liam’s hands and Liam realized how much he was shaking too.

The adrenaline was wearing off and Liam realized that it was even colder up here being exposed to the harsh air. The water had been starting to feel almost bearable the longer he’d been submerged but there was no relief from the chill up here. His teeth were chattering violently and his jaw ached.

“Ar-are you sure we wouldn’t be better off in the w-water?” he asked Zayn.

“I’m p-positive. It’ll take a hell of a lot longer for us to f-f-freeze up here.” Zayn sounded confident in his words.

“Okay. I t-trust you.” Liam told him.

“I c-could r-really use a cigarette, r-right now.” Zayn said, teeth clashing together. Liam laughed with him, their breath combining into one large vapor cloud.

“M-me too.” Liam agreed. He thought longingly of Zayn’s pack of cigarettes and matches in his coat pocket, likely too water-logged by now to be useable.

Liam’s heart was still hammering uncomfortably in his chest and he swore he could feel Zayn’s heart pounding as well.

They were both quiet for several moments, listening to the commotion around them. Zayn was restless in his grip, moving his legs and rubbing his hands up and down along Liam’s side.

“G-gotta st-stay moving, k-keep our blood moving.” Zayn explained. Liam wiggled his own toes and fingers and rubbed Zayn’s back. His stomach growled audibly and he regretted not eating at dinner.

“Z-Zayn,” Liam said.

“Yeah?” Zayn replied, looking up at him, eyes glinting in the darkness.

“How l-long do you think before the lifeboats will be b-back?” he asked.

“Very soon, they’re p-probably already on their way back, babe.” Zayn’s lips had gone a bit purplish. Liam wanted to believe him but he was becoming increasingly doubtful the longer they floated there.

“M-meeting you was the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Zayn,” he said.

“D-don’t do that, Li,” Zayn said, “Don’t st-start saying goodbye. We’re gonna be alright. P-promise me, Liam, promise you won’t start giving up.”

“Okay, I won’t, I promise,” Liam agreed. “I love you, Zayn,” he said suddenly, surprising himself.

“I love you, t-too, Liam. B-but we’re g-going to be ok-kay-“ Zayn stopped himself, teeth chattering too much to keep talking.

Liam forced his hands to move, joints protesting, and tilted Zayn’s face up. Zayn’s lips were like ice on his, but the inside of his mouth and tongue were still warm. Eventually, they broke apart.

Someone was blowing a whistle repeatedly in the distance above the echoing screams.

“I’m so cold, Liam,” Zayn whispered like he didn’t want to believe it.

“I know, m-m’ too,” Liam sighed.

“C-can I ask you a qu-question?” Zayn chattered out in a vapor cloud. 

“What is it?”

“W-would you have done it?”

“D-done what, Zayn?” Liam questioned.

“Jumped… that n-night?” Zayn’s lips were definitely a darker shade of purple now and ice crystals had formed on his eyebrow hairs as well.

“I… I-I don’t know…” Liam answered honestly.

“I d-don’t think you would have,” Zayn said. “B-because you’re strong, Liam, so m-much st-stronger than you think you are. And I love th-that about you.”

“You’re strong too, Zayn, stronger and braver th-than anyone I’ve ever m-met. You’re st-strong enough to s-survive this,” Liam said.

“We b-both are,” Zayn corrected him. “We’ve made it this far.”

“Y-you’re right- we’ll be okay, Zayn.” Dread and fear were pooling in the pit of Liam’s stomach. Less and less people were screaming as the minutes passed. Liam no longer knew where his legs ended and Zayn’s began. He couldn’t feel past his shins.

_ “Lavender’s blue, dilly dilly, lavender’s green…” _

Zayn had started singing softly, voice breaking but his voice sounded lovely. Liam smiled and sang the next line of the old lullaby:

_ “When you are King, dilly dilly, I shall be Queen…” _

Zayn joined in and they sang the verse together, voices rasping and broken:

_ “Who told you so, dilly dilly, who told you so? _

_ ‘Twas my own heart, dilly dilly, that told me so.” _

“My mum used to sing that…” Zayn muttered.

Liam was sure that if he was able to cry he would be but his eyes, like the rest of him, already felt so frozen. He moved his body just to make sure he still could and Zayn shifted against him.

He had no concept of how long it had been since the ship sank but he guessed that they had been floating on the door for at least twenty minutes.

It was slowly growing quieter around them and the whistle had stopped blowing. Liam felt sick and tried not to think about how many people were already dead, floating all around them.

“’s quiet,” he murmured to Zayn. Zayn hummed in agreement.

“D’you think Louis and N-Niall made it?” Liam whispered.

“Dunno… ‘m so cold, Liam.” Zayn wasn’t shivering as much anymore. Liam didn’t know what to do to warm him up; they were already huddled together as close as they possibly could.

“Y’re okay, you’re gonna be alright, Zayn,” Liam soothed.

“Won’t… won’t give up… Liam. We-‘m-oh… okay?” Zayn’s voice was so faint Liam could barely hear him. All of his hair was frozen in chunks hanging like icicles and his lips were dark blue.

“Wanna… ‘m tired… wanna sleep… Liam…” Zayn’s breath was coming out in shallow pants. Liam’s stomach twisted, he was so numb, so… scared.

“No, Zayn, no don’t-don’t fall asleep, love, stay with me…” Liam pleaded, stroking Zayn’s icy face.

“Mm-stay with you… love you, Liam…” Zayn’s eyes fluttered shut.

“Stay awake, Zayn… stay with me… don’t-don’t you leave-“ Liam’s voice broke. He jostled Zayn’s shoulder and slapped his cheek gently. Zayn opened his eyes again but they rolled back in his head and Liam heart nearly stopped, completely terrified.

Liam prodded Zayn’s face again and felt Zayn’s nose and mouth. It was barely there but he could feel a weak breath. He guessed it was only a matter of minutes before Zayn would be unconscious. Holding Zayn impossibly tighter, he forced his numb arms to shake the smaller boy’s back over and over, making sure he didn’t fall asleep.

Making sure he stayed alive with Liam.

He thought he was imagining it the first time he heard the man calling. And then it happened again… and again…

“Is there anyone alive out there? Can anyone hear me?” The voice was so faint, but it was there, it was real.

They were going to be rescued.

“Zayn-Zayn-there’s a boat, Zayn,” Liam croaked out, trying to yell. “They came back for us, Zayn wake up! We’re saved, Zayn, they came back!” Zayn’s eyes fluttered and the sound he made sounded like, “Lee…?”

“Yes, Zayn, that’s it, wake up!” Liam choked. He was so cold, he couldn’t move his limbs anymore…

“A… a boat? Liam?” Zayn rasped.

“Yeah, babe, it’s a boat! Here!” Liam tried to call, tried to wave his arms, sit up, do  _ something _ …

“We’re here!” he tried again, his voice hoarse and thick in his throat. 

“Is there anyone alive out there?” the man called again. He sounded closer. There was a beam of light, sweeping back and forth, illuminating the silhouette of man standing in a boat.

Liam finally succeeded in raising his frozen arm into the air and was able to shake it back and forth.

“Here! Help!” Liam’s voice was stronger. He realized then that if they rolled off the door into the water then maybe the splash would be loud enough for the man to hear. 

The light was brighter in the distance, he heard the man repeat his question and could hear the boat moving through the water, oars slapping the surface.

“C’mon, Zayn, we’ve gotta roll off this…” he was afraid that if he pushed Zayn off, the boy wouldn’t be able to stay afloat on his own even with the lifejacket. So he worked up the energy to roll them both off of the door.

They plunged into the ocean and the water felt… warm. Which wasn’t good, that meant Liam’s skin was so cold that even the frigid water seemed to be warm. But Liam was satisfied with how loud the splash they had created had been. The man had to have heard it, he was sure of it.

They surfaced, floating horizontally, Liam spitting a mouthful of salty seawater, gasping out bigger clouds of vapor. He was still clutching Zayn to his chest and Zayn was coughing and thrashing in the water against Liam’s numb body. 

Liam never thought he’d be so relieved to see someone struggling in water.

“It's okay, Zayn, I got you, you're alright,” he soothed.

“Hold on!” the man called, sounding only a few meters from them. “We’re coming!”

And moments later the searchlight was so blinding that Liam had to close his eyes. He felt arms close around him as he was lifted up into the air and over the side of the boat.

He clung to Zayn the whole time they were lowered down into the hull. Hands were rubbing his arms and legs, trying to warm him up. Thick, heavenly warm blankets were wrapped tightly around them both.

“Liam!” Zayn croaked out, huddling into the warmth under their blankets. Liam still hadn’t opened his eyes and he felt hot tears slide down his face at last. He rubbed Zayn’s shuddering back.

“Shhh, we’re okay, we’re okay, we’re okay…” he kept repeating until the words didn’t mean anything anymore.

 

 

**_April 15, 1912 – 3:45 AM_ **

 

“Zayn?” Liam was shaking him awake and for a moment before he felt the ocean swaying under the lifeboat, he thought he was in his bunk. And then the memories of the past hours flooded back to him.

They made it… both he and Liam had made it. They were  _ alive _ .

He’d known he was still alive because of the pain. He remembered the sensation returning to his limbs, the  _ burning _ … the heavy numbness melting away, replaced by the stinging of a thousand bees. But at least it had finally been easier to breathe.

He was still so tired though. Liam was holding him, still rubbing his back, bundled together under blankets. He remembered trying to focus on what Liam had been saying but ended up just listening to his comforting tone. It was warm, too warm and then not warm enough... And then he’d succumbed to the sleep that had been threatening to overtake him.

“Wha-?“ he mumbled now, burrowing himself closer into Liam’s chest.

“Wake up, the rescue ship is here. We’re going to America!” Liam’s voice was so  _ loud _ … Zayn groaned; he just wanted to sleep.

“ _ Carpathia _ , Zayn! Look!” Liam said.

Zayn reluctantly sat up and squinted out over the water where Liam was indicating. There were indeed bright lights flickering in the distance and the faint outline of a ship. The sky was still a deep velvety navy, the stars glimmering. Their boat rocked gently on the waves of the Atlantic and water stretched for miles, a glossy indigo.

“Most likely it’ll be a few hours ‘til we reach ‘er, lads,” the officer said. “Glad to see you’re finally awake, Mister Malik.”

Zayn looked around the small lifeboat. He and Liam were two of a total of eight men aboard. Two of them were asleep, curled up under blankets as well and two others were using oars to very slowly paddle the boat across the Atlantic. The officer that had spoken was a middle-aged man and he looked friendly but exhausted.

“That’s Officer Landry, Zayn,” Liam said quietly.

“Nice to meet you, Officer. Thank you for… y’know for-“ Zayn couldn’t finish, overcome with emotion and Liam took Zayn’s hand in his and gave him an understanding look.

“It was my pleasure,” the officer replied. “I’m glad you’re all still with us,” he said quietly to everyone in the boat.

One of the men sitting with them offered Liam a flask, which he took a drink from. Liam passed the flask into Zayn’s hands, and Zayn sipped, the strong alcohol burned down his throat and he felt the warmth blooming from his belly, spreading to his whole body.

It was mostly silent in the boat from then on out. Zayn settled himself back down on the seat, lying with his knees tucked up to his chest, Liam behind him, arm over him. He was completely exhausted and kept drifting back off to sleep, lulled by the gentle rocking of the ocean and Liam’s slow deep breathing against his back. The officer and other passengers exchanged words occasionally but Zayn’s mind was too tired to listen to them.

Liam woke him up again, what seemed like days later. He was groggy and the warmth from the weak sunlight combined with his and Liam’s combined body heat under the blanket felt wonderful. According to Officer Landry, they were pulling up alongside  _ Carpathia _ and would be able to board the ship very soon.

Zayn blinked, getting his eyes adjusted to sunlight once again. He sat up all the way and had to tilt his head back to see the ship above them. In the golden glow of the sunrise,  _ Carpathia _ was little more than a larger version of a lifeboat when compared in size to  _ Titanic _ . Steam was billowing from its single orange and black smoke stack, like a beacon of hope on the shimmering teal water.

Their boat inched forward behind another lifeboat currently unloading more  _ Titanic _ survivors onto  _ Carpathia _ . Around forty people wrapped in blankets and clutching one another walked up the loading platform and disappeared from view behind the hull of the ship.

There were four tartan blankets covering them, twisted up in their legs. Zayn extracted one from the pile and wrapped it around his shoulders and over his head like a hood. Liam smiled at him fondly, wrapping a blanket across his own shoulders.

“Can’t wait to get a hot cuppa,” Liam said, licking his lips.

“They have tea?” Zayn breathed. A steaming, hot cup of tea sounded like the best thing in the world.

“They better. I’d kill someone for some right about now,” Liam replied with a smirk.

“I’d love some cheesy toast,” Zayn said. He hadn’t realized just how hungry and thirsty he was until the prospect of food seemed so close to being a reality.

“Mmm… and some sausages and a croissant,” Liam practically moaned and Zayn pushed him, sighing, “Liam, stop-“ unable to hold back an embarrassing whine as well.

Eventually the boat in front them was hauled up onto the deck and they were allowed to pull forward. Two officers were there to greet them as Zayn stood on his unsteady legs.

“Welcome aboard  _ Carpathia _ !” they said, helping them up the ramp from the platform.

_ Carpathia _ ’s deck was covered in people sitting clustered together, bundled in the same tartan blankets as the one on Zayn’s head. Stewards were weaving through the crowds carrying tea trays and Zayn’s stomach rumbled when he smelled breakfast.

He and Liam made their way to a clear spot on the deck where they could sit down together, backs pressed up against the side of the hull. Liam waved down a steward and the man knelt, bearing a tray with steaming cups of tea, pieces of soft bread and apples.

Liam took a cup and passed it to Zayn. Zayn took a moment just to appreciate the heat of the china and the steam wafting up to his face before he took a sip at long last. He didn’t care that the liquid scalded the roof of his mouth and burned all the way down; it was wonderful and he couldn’t remember the last time he’d had tea this good.

The first bite of warm bread had him practically moaning, his eyes rolling back in his head in pleasure. Liam had similar reactions to his tea and food. It was an indescribably amazing feeling sitting, basking in the rays of sunshine, snug under his blanket. 

A young man sitting nearby even offered them each cigarettes. Zayn inhaled and savored the welcome burn in his throat and chest and felt his lingering shakiness dissipating.

Beside him, Liam looked lit from within, the halo of sunlight outlining his features gave him a soft glow. Blowing out his own mouthful of smoke, Liam chuckled and Zayn pulled him in for a kiss. Liam tucked his face under the blanket on Zayn's head, effectively hiding them from view of any neighboring survivors.

Liam licked into Zayn's mouth, kissing him fiercely, with a hand on Zayn's cheek. When Zayn pulled back to catch his breath, Liam gently nibbled on Zayn's lower lip.

Liam then pulled his head out from under Zayn's blanket and relaxed with his legs straight out in front of him. Zayn moved the blanket so it was covering them both as he reclined against Liam, head on the other boy’s shoulder. He cuddled against Liam in the sunshine, overcome with affection for the boy carding fingers through his hair.

“What now?” Zayn wondered aloud.

“Hmm?” Liam hummed, fingers gently untangling the knots in Zayn’s hair, sticky and gross from the seawater.

“What’s next for us, when we get to America? Where’re we gonna go?” Zayn clarified.

“Dunno. I’ll be happy anywhere as long as it’s with you, babe.” Liam replied.

“Yeah, we’ll be okay,” Zayn agreed. “I love you, Liam.”

“Me too. I love you too, Zayn,” Liam answered simply. 


	3. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The happily ever after!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 100% self-indulgence and only the first couple of paragraphs are necessary to the plot. I wasn't satisfied with the ending of the second part. 
> 
> (It needed more smut. So here you go.)
> 
>  
> 
> [ Houdini reference](http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/images26/BorderNewfieBorderCollieNewfoundlandHybridDogMixBreedBerrin3yearsOldTim4.JPG) for fellow dog lovers

**Epilogue: One Year Later**

 

**_“One Year Later: Still asking questions about Titanic tragedy- What went wrong?”_ **

Zayn read the headline and frowned, setting down the newspaper in front of him. It was far too early in the morning to dredge up the memories of what occurred exactly a year ago today. Memories that he’d been trying very hard to forget. He instead used the paper to mop up the tiny puddle of coffee he’d spilled on the kitchen table. He finished the last couple bites of his toast and eggs and scratched at the scruff on his jaw.

He tried to ignore the onslaught of recollections conjured up by the headline but wasn’t able to. The numbers were overwhelming: an estimated 1,500 people had died in the disaster, 703 of those being passengers. Only seven people, including Liam and himself, had been successfully rescued from the water afterwards and for that Zayn felt guilty every day. He remembered the day that the he’d skimmed through the names of the known survivors printed in the newspaper. He couldn’t forget how his heart had sunk when he didn’t find Louis or Niall’s names on that list.

When they first arrived in America, it had been impossible to go a single day without hearing about  _ Titanic _ . The still to this day unanswered questions seemed to be at the forefront of everyone’s mind for months afterwards.  _ Why did the ship continue on despite the iceberg warnings? Was there a flaw in the design of the ship that if caught, could have prevented it from sinking? Why out of over 2,200 passengers aboard, only around 700 people had survived? _ Zayn had tried to avoid hearing about it as much as possible but now it seemed that the one-year anniversary would reopen all those old wounds.

To Zayn, Titanic was mostly synonymous with the screaming, the panic, the hopelessness and the bitter cold. It stirred up dark thoughts about things like coming to terms with almost dying, all the people that lost their lives and Louis’ death in particular. He also still had nightmares of freezing to death, floating all alone in the ocean, unable to feel any of his limbs.

But he’d always wake up safe and warm with Liam right there beside him to hold him and calm him down. And in return, when Liam had night terrors of his own, Zayn was there to comfort him. In fact, just seeing Liam everyday served as a reminder to Zayn that not all his memories associated with  _ Titanic _ were bad ones.

Zayn could still hear the cheers erupting from the passengers on deck of  _ Carpathia _ the first time that the Statue of Liberty had come into view. He remembered watching the pale green figure grow larger on the horizon as they’d neared the shore. The night they’d arrived at Pier 34 in New York, it had been dark and rainy as they’d been led off the ship and onto American soil at last.

After they’d been checked in, several motels in the area had graciously allowed  _ Titanic _ survivors who had lost everything to stay a couple nights free of charge. Then, Liam had been able to sell Sophia’s engagement ring that he had kept in his coat pocket, to get them enough money to take a train to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

Once there, Liam sold his watch and a gold ring and they were able to afford a tiny one-bedroom apartment. Zayn had luckily been able to find a job as a substitute art teacher at the local elementary school that didn’t require a degree. Liam had worked at a local convenience store during the day and soon thereafter started training to become a police officer.

The first couple of months in Philadelphia had been hard for them both. They barely saw each other during the day due to their busy work schedules and were usually too tired when they came home to spend much time together. But all their hard work paid off once they’d saved enough money to move out of the cramped apartment in the city and into a small house in more rural borough of West Chester. It was around that time that Zayn started taking college courses to get a degree in education because he loved teaching art so much.

Zayn now attended school full time and was in his second year of the Education program, after making the decision to quit the substitute job. Liam loved his job as a police officer and Zayn appreciated his steady paycheck and how attractive he was in his uniform.

This morning, Liam was still on his morning jog with Houdini, their dog. Zayn had discovered the puppy one night when he went out for a smoke in the alley behind the bar he worked at in Philadelphia. The pup had gotten his name when he somehow managed to escape his kennel the very next morning after Zayn brought him home.

Today was Liam’s day off and yet he still had been awake at six this morning to go on his daily run. Zayn would still be asleep if it weren’t for his eight o’clock class. He checked his mug to find it empty; he was apparently so exhausted that he didn’t remember drinking all his coffee. He got up to pour himself a second cup when he heard Liam come in their front door, talking to Houdini.

“Who’s the best running buddy, who is? That’s you boy, that’s you!” Liam cooed and Zayn was forced to smile at the silly voice that his boyfriend put on for their dog.

“Go get, Zayn, yeah, go get ‘im, wake him up!” Liam urged the dog and Houdini came bounding around the corner into the kitchen and right over to Zayn.

“Hi boy,” he greeted. “Did you have a good run with Liam?” he asked, kneeling to pet the dog’s fluffy black coat. They weren’t sure exactly what breed Houdini was and he was likely a mix of several. Possibly Border Collie due to his high energy level and Newfoundland because of his coloring and large size.

“You’re awake!” Liam feigned shock as he entered the kitchen and Zayn rolled his eyes.

“Told you I had a class this morning,” Zayn grumbled as Liam crossed the kitchen to get himself a glass of water.

“Yeah but I didn’t think you’d actually be up this early. Thought you’d sleep in ‘til the last minute like usual,” Liam smirked. Zayn shrugged and sipped his coffee, admiring the way Liam’s damp shirt clung to the muscles of his chest and stomach.

“I’m gonna hop in the shower,” Liam announced, patting the center of Zayn’s chest affectionately as strode past Zayn, leaving the sharp smell of sweat in his wake. Zayn watched the easy sway of Liam’s hips as he walked and really that's all it took for Zayn to follow him to their bedroom.

The water for the shower was already running and Zayn was just in time to see Liam pulling his sweat soaked shirt over his head. Next came off his jogging shorts, socks and underpants.

“Wait,” Zayn said from the doorway as Liam was heading to the bathroom. Liam turned to face him, stark naked and with an amused quizzical look on his face.

“But you’ve got class soon,” Liam pointed out as Zayn crossed the room until he could place his hands on Liam’s waist.

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have been teasing me,” Zayn countered, pressing his fingers against the stubble on Liam’s cheek.

“I wasn’t teasing you, I was just walking. We’ve talked about this, babe-“ Liam explained before Zayn cut him off. He covered Liam’s plush lips with his own and licked past the seam of Liam’s mouth until Liam’s tongue brushed his.

Zayn pulled back briefly to pull off his jumper so he was just in his pants. He pressed himself even closer to Liam’s chest, gently pushing Liam backwards until he hit the edge of their bed and collapsed, pulling Zayn down on top of him.

Zayn got to his knees on the mattress, straddling Liam’s waist and putting his hands on either side of Liam’s head to hold himself up.

Zayn placed several sloppy open-mouthed kisses to Liam’s parted lips and then proceeded to mouth along Liam’s jaw and under his chin, teasing Liam’s skin between his teeth. His ministrations were rewarded by a low groan from Liam, who was rubbing his hands over the small of Zayn’s back. Liam’s fingers dipped below the waistband of Zayn’s pants and ghosted over his crack. He then took each of Zayn’s arse cheeks in his hands, squeezing and gently spreading him open. Zayn hissed as he rolled his hips over Liam’s lower belly, feeling his clothed cock brush Liam’s, which was already curved up onto his stomach.

“D’you wanna ride me, babe?” Liam growled, still pulling apart Zayn’s arse, fingers teasing the sensitive skin still covered by Zayn’s pants. Zayn hummed as he sucked on a spot above Liam’s collarbone, savoring the feeling of Liam’s solid heat under him and teasing the fabric of his pants. He considered letting Liam prep him with wet, gentle motions, fucking his thick fingers in and out of Zayn’s open hole and then Liam thrusting up into him, filling him up.

His thoughts then wandered to images of Liam’s curved back, facedown with his needy arse lifted into the air, keening and rutting into the sheets. Since their first time together, Zayn never got tired hearing and watching Liam fall apart. They’d spent the better part of the past year exploring each other’s bodies, finding new ways satisfy one another.

“Mmm- no… wan’ you on y’r hands and knees, Li,” Zayn mumbled into Liam’s skin. Liam’s teeth sank into his plush lower lip and his eyes closed.

“Fuck, Zee-“ he moaned, gripping Zayn’s arse tighter.

“C’mon then, roll over,” Zayn coaxed, climbing off of Liam’s lap. Liam flipped over and brought himself up onto all fours. Zayn situated himself behind Liam, taking in the view of Liam’s arched back; pinched dimples at the base of his spine, the sinful curve of each of Liam’s muscled arse cheeks, supported by strong thighs, dusted with light brown hair.

Zayn placed both his hands on the firm swell of Liam’s arse and slowly spread him apart. Liam ducked his head, face pressed into the sheets, muffling his groan. Zayn traced his fingers over Liam’s puckered hole; the ring of muscle tightened under his fingertips. Zayn wanted to take his time slowly working Liam up. He wanted to make Liam beg for Zayn to touch him; to see just how tightly wound he could make Liam before ruining him.

“Zayn… please?” Liam gasped, arching his back impossibly more, pushing his arse up, trying to get Zayn’s fingers to enter him. Zayn smirked in spite of himself, and trailed his fingers down the cleft of Liam’s spread cheeks, caressing the soft tufts of hair surrounding his hole.

The only sound in the room was the echoing water from the shower as it rained down on the tiles. An unfortunate waste of water, Zayn thought.

His fingertips ghosted over Liam’s perineum, behind his heavy balls, feeling the over-warm, soft skin. Liam’s thighs shuddered and threatened to close as his muscles contracted under Zayn’s feather-light touch. He knew Liam’s cock must be leaking by now and he was probably getting pretty close to going mad with anticipation of what Zayn would do next.

Liam gasped a sharp intake of breath as Zayn brought his finger back to press against Liam’s hole. Zayn then brought his lips within centimeters of Liam’s entrance and Zayn knew Liam could feel his breath from Liam’s shiver and the moan he let out.

“D’you want me to?” Zayn asked quietly.

“Please! Zayn, I- yes, please,” Liam replied, still talking into the bed-sheets.  

“So polite,” Zayn muttered slowly, breath playing over Liam’s skin. Zayn sucked his own index finger into his mouth. he then pressed the slick digit right against Liam’s flushed hole until the tight ring gave enough for Zayn to slide his finger in.

“There you go, babe, relax for me,” Zayn praised, relishing the feeling of Liam clenched around his finger. Puckering his lips, Zayn let a string of saliva drip onto a spot above where his finger was disappearing inside Liam, using the spit as lubrication.

Once Liam had relaxed enough to make the slide of Zayn’s finger easy and smooth, Zayn withdrew the digit. Liam whimpered at the loss but Zayn quickly replaced his finger with his lips.

Liam cried out and thrashed under Zayn’s hands that were now holding Liam’s hips in place, as Zayn darted his tongue over Liam’s entrance, feeling the muscles go pliant under his tongue. His tongue curled as he licked fast upward strokes, his own saliva more thoroughly wetting Liam’s hole. Zayn pointed the tip of his tongue, pressing it just inside Liam’s rim. Liam’s taste was a tangy mixture of sweat and musky clean skin. Every loud whimper and moan that Liam was trying to muffle by burying his face in the sheets went straight to Zayn’s straining cock.

Zayn added his finger back to tease at Liam’s hole alongside his lapping tongue. Zayn pulled back and licked Liam’s taste off his lips, watching his index and middle fingers pushing into Liam’s puffy rim. Liam was now wet enough that Zayn could easily slide both fingers into him without much resistance.

“Think I want  _ you _ to ride  _ me _ actually, babe,” Zayn commented, now scissoring his fingers inside Liam’s tight, wet heat. He was picturing Liam sinking down onto his cock until Liam’s thighs were flush with Zayn’s stomach.

“Fuck…” Liam panted in between moans, “Yeah, wanna ride your cock…”

Zayn continued to work Liam open, occasionally adding more saliva when the drag of his fingers didn’t seem slick enough. Liam cried out at the stretch when Zayn added a third finger.

“Fuck, Li,” Zayn soothed. “You’re so beautiful.” Liam was rolling hips in the air in time with the rhythm of Zayn’s fingers opening him.

Zayn withdrew his fingers, confident that Liam was sufficiently prepped. He pulled down his own pants and his cock bobbed free, leaking and almost painfully hard. Zayn twisted and settled himself on his back, stroking his aching dick to relive some of the strain.

“C’mere babe,” he held out his arms to help Liam sit up so he could straddle Zayn’s hips. Liam’s face was flushed a beautiful shade of pink and his bottom lip was once again caught between his teeth.

“Oh shit, Zayn,” Liam whined when his arse briefly made contact with Zayn’s cock as he positioned himself rather shakily, pressing hands to Zayn’s chest.

“Can you hold y’rself up?” Zayn asked. Liam nodded, eyes shut and face contorted with concentration as Zayn positioned himself and felt the tip of his dick touch Liam’s damp entrance. They both moaned at the contact; Liam’s eyes flew open and rolled back in his head.

“Yeah, just like that, Li,” Zayn groaned, breathless as Liam lowered himself all the way and Zayn’s cock pushed past Liam’s rim. As he bottomed out, Liam cursed and panted as the underside of his muscular thighs settled on Zayn’s hips. Zayn gripped Liam’s back, blunt fingernails digging into Liam’s warm, flushed skin.

“Oh, fuck, Liam, fuck… you’re so tight… always so tight,” Zayn panted, gazing up at Liam who had thrown his head back, exposed the gorgeous, tight lines of his neck and collarbone. Liam’s heat clenched around Zayn’s cock and Zayn savored the slick glide as Liam rolled his hips forward, bracing himself on Zayn’s chest.

Zayn thrust up to bury himself in Liam once again, going slow, loving the sounds spilling from Liam’s parted lips. Together they created a lazy rhythm, Liam grinding down as Zayn bucked his hips upwards, hands holding Liam’s waist to help him move up and down. Liam’s own cock slid in the small amount of precome pooling on Zayn’s belly, each time they rocked together.

“Oh shit, babe, you feel so good…” Liam panted, bouncing faster on Zayn’s cock. Zayn felt the familiar burning, tightening in the pit of his stomach and quickened his pace as well, craving more friction. He adjusted the angle and knew that he had found Liam’s prostate when Liam’s whole body tensed and he cried out. Zayn drove into him again, hitting the same spot and cursing when Liam clenched around him again.

Liam took his own cock in his fist, as Zayn held him tight around his middle and pistoned his hips, slamming into Liam over and over. Liam groaned and panted, his pink mouth formed a perfect  _ O _ , legs trembling and chest glistening with perspiration. Zayn continued pounding up into Liam’s arse, the sound of their skin slapping almost drowning out the noise of the shower still running from the bathroom.

“ _ Zayn _ …” Liam moaned, hand still working over his cock, precome blurting over his fingers as Zayn hit the sweet spot inside him repetitively.

“C’mon, love, come for me,” Zayn growled and his words seemed to tip Liam right over the edge; letting out a beautiful choked off cry before collapsing forward to drape himself over Zayn’s chest. Liam rutted weakly against Zayn’s stomach, moaning over and over, cock slipping between them, spurting come.

Zayn himself was just about there, and the feeling of Liam’s hole flutter and clench around his cock, stoked the fire unfurling as the first wave of his orgasm overtook him. Zayn released inside Liam, gripping Liam’s back, fingers digging into his skin, writhing under Liam’s warm weight. His lips moved over Liam’s hair, hands releasing Liam’s back to search for his head. Zayn tilted Liam’s face up to meet his own, lips searching for Liam’s as his eyes were squeezed shut.

Liam’s tongue finally met his and Zayn licked into his mouth fiercely, arms winding around Liam’s neck, pulling him down as he deepened the kiss. They were still connected as Liam rocked gently against him, both still riding out the waves of pleasure.

Liam pulled back to gasp, “ _ I love you, I love you,” _ mouthing along Zayn’s jaw.

“ _ Leeyum _ , I love you so much,” Zayn whispered, trying to catch his breath.

He lay gasping under Liam, until he could eventually breathe normally and his heart no longer felt like it was trying to escape his ribcage. He felt Liam’s racing heartbeat slow as well where their chests were flush together. Liam had tucked his face in the space between Zayn’s neck and shoulder, his warm breath tickling Zayn’s sweaty skin.

Zayn shifted them gently and his cock slipped free. He was acutely aware of the warm sticky mess of come and sweat between them. And he was definitely going to be late for his class.

“We need a shower,” Zayn suggested. Liam hummed in reply and picked his head up to face Zayn.

“The water’s been running this whole time. There’s probably no hot water left,” he said sadly.

“Well if we have to take a cold shower, it was well worth it, don’t you think?” Zayn said and they both laughed, blissfully happy and safe in each other’s embrace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart for reading this. 
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated.
> 
> tumblr: [brightziam](http://www.brightziam.tumblr.com/)


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